15 definitions by Empress Kristi

Reddit

heaven of memes and 95% of memes either come from here or are posted on here

"memes cured my depression" - a wise man on urban dictionary
"where do i get fresh memes?"
"reddit"
"WHAT DA FAK IS A SANIK~ i mean reddit"
"kys you have been living under a rock for the last 27 years"

by Empress Kristi May 12, 2022

Ching Chong pass

A pass given by Asians to non-Asians so that they can say the word without being considered a racist. Includes the ‘eye pull’ and can either be unlimited or limited time.

Non-Asian man: ching chong wing wong willy wonka

Asian man 1: proceeds to pull out slipper
Non-Asian man: put it down..
Asian man 2: put it down. He has the power of ching chong on his side. I gave him the ching chong pass.

by Empress Kristi October 6, 2022

fag

British slang for a cigarette. What were you looking for?

uh ok imma brb imma just smoke a fag

wait what

by Empress Kristi November 12, 2022

Where do babies come from?

The worst and the most awkward question your child will ask you in your lifetime (if you were a parent)

Don't bother lying, they will find out eventually.

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!
Lois: WHAT IS IT????????????????????
Stewie: hi
Lois: I will send you to jesus
Stewie: I was actually going to ask you something.
Lois: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Stewie: Where do babies come from?
Lois: From a stork..
Stewie: Isn't the baby too big?
Lois: It's a magik stork!
Stewie: That doesn't make sense.
Lois: It does.
Stewie: *GASP* DADDY FUCKED MOM~
Lois: *kills Stewie*

by Empress Kristi April 15, 2022

Ligma

Ligma balls disease, more commonly referred as LIGMA, is a very rare disease that can be life wreaking, put you on life support for the next two decades and kill you.

“Steve Jobs died of LIGMA. In 2069 there will be a cure to ligma. In 2069 we will be releasing a cure to ligma balls disease. The way to do it is for the doctors to bang your mom! HA! GOTTEM!” *dies of ligma*

- an anonymous person who goes by the name of P.H

by Empress Kristi April 18, 2022

discord

tinder but with underage girls

pedo: *receives 26 friend requests on discord*
girl 1: im 23 and~
pedo: no
girl2 : im 18 and~
pedo: kys
girl 3: im 14, and~
pedo: send nudes
girl: *send nudes*
pedo: nice pussy, face reveal
FBI: *reveals face*

pedo: ah shit, here we go again

by Empress Kristi April 29, 2022

discord mod

a no life pedo who has an OCD in abusing his powers

Day in the life of a discord mod

5am: get dressed
6am: open discord
10am: go outside
10:01am: review suggestions
3pm: breakfast
5pm: exercise
5:01pm: check on the server
4:55am: bed

meanwhile:

boy and e-girl: *joins*
mod: *bans boy in 0.00000000001 seconds*
mod: *automatically gives the 'DMs open' role*
mod: be gf or ban
gf: ok
mod: where do you live? what is yor name? how old?

person: *posts memes in general*
mod: say goodbye (?mute @person#1337 5d L bozo)

22 years later

Guinness World Record: Most people banned in Discord in a lifetime - 74637281746732847 - goes to Mod#420 (1996-2069)
Guinness World Record: Most girls dated in discord in a lifetime - 758345745738549323893 - goes to Mod#420

How to get into a Discord Mod's Account

You can't.

by Empress Kristi April 29, 2022