ElCommissioner 's definitions

fritzed up

"Fritzed up" is just a G-Rated way of saying "fucked up."

Just the other day, I heard a little kid, probably in first grade, say to his mom, "My shoes are all fritzed up, I want some news ones."

by ElCommissioner August 12, 2019

Chocolate Cake Diplomacy

The passing on of bad news while sharing a delicious treat, hoping the listener with not fully grasp the news. A gastronomic smokescreen.

The seventeen year old boy employed the proven technique of Chocolate Cake Diplomacy, and told his parents that he had knocked up the neighbor girl, while serving them slices of a delicious, three layer chocolate cake that was " this high!".

by ElCommissioner April 21, 2017

manaste woman

A manaste woman (ma-nasty wo-man) is a social change driven, yoga inspired person, capable of performing the "Downward Dog" and the "Up Yours!".

Reports indicate that there is a large group of manaste woman gathered at City Hall, peacefully protesting the proposed ordinance outlawing the public wearing of capris, leggings, and yoga pants.

by ElCommissioner January 1, 2018

Caesar Salad Syndrome

Caesar Salad Syndrome (CSS) is a minimally pernicious set of symptoms, usually presenting as a very involved and helpful person. Often associated with the phrase, "It takes a village", persons with CSS feel concerned with and achieve satisfaction from helping others. Effected persons often have an idiosyncratic craving for Caesar Salad.

If I could shake this Caesar Salad Syndrome, I could take care of my own needs. I have bills to pay!

by ElCommissioner August 17, 2020

lockdown pounds

Unwanted weight gained during a shelter in place order, resulting from overeating and lack of exercise

I put on 8 lockdown pounds in March.

by ElCommissioner April 14, 2020

GAS

Guitar Acquisition Syndrome (GAS) is the undeniable inability to stop buying nice guitars. Even with intervention by a loving spouse (" Will you stop spending our money on those stupid fucking guitars!?"), the victim is helpless in the face of the condition.

Dude, I have GAS...I gotta stop at the guitar shop on the way home. they got a new shipment in.

by ElCommissioner February 26, 2022

spawn jockey

A professional sperm donor.

Alfred recently became a spawn jockey, and was coming up with an extra grand a month.

by ElCommissioner October 1, 2017