ElCommissioner 's definitions

platetitude

A platetitude is a remark made by a server or diner of a fine restaurant, or a food critic of same, that sounds wonderfully praiseful but actually holds no substance. "The Sole Dore was devine." Ok, so you liked it. Tell me more so I can decide if I might like it. "The new taqueria rocks!" Hmmm. Again, you liked it, but what about it did you like?

His review was filled with the usual buzzwords and platetitudes about the typical restaurant experience, but little information about the actual encounter.

by ElCommissioner December 1, 2018

scentuation

A scentuation is a situation where there is a noticeable scent in the area. A skunk could be responsible for a foul scentuation. A woman doused in cheap perfume is a walking bad scentuation. A fragrant rose creates a lovely scentuation.

Some people love their toast burned; but I feel it is just creates a bad scentuation. Yuk!

by ElCommissioner July 14, 2020

spawn jockey

A professional sperm donor.

Alfred recently became a spawn jockey, and was coming up with an extra grand a month.

by ElCommissioner October 1, 2017

GAS

Guitar Acquisition Syndrome (GAS) is the undeniable inability to stop buying nice guitars. Even with intervention by a loving spouse (" Will you stop spending our money on those stupid fucking guitars!?"), the victim is helpless in the face of the condition.

Dude, I have GAS...I gotta stop at the guitar shop on the way home. they got a new shipment in.

by ElCommissioner February 26, 2022

eventpathy

Eventpathy is a social phenomenon wherein crowds of people remain passive and unengaged when an active and much more involved response is called for. It involves the feeling that "someone else will take care of the situation."

The festival area was littered with debris after the crowds dispersed, an example of rampant eventpathy.

by ElCommissioner June 22, 2019

Valley of the Tunes

Jack London, the famed adventure writer from the early 1900's, called the Sonoma Valley in California, his home towards the end of his life. He referred to the valley as the "Valley of the Moon". The clever twist on that phrase, Valley of the Tunes, refers to the vibrant live music scene here.

There is a ton of music this weekend here in the Valley of the Tunes!

by ElCommissioner May 1, 2022

lockdown pounds

Unwanted weight gained during a shelter in place order, resulting from overeating and lack of exercise

I put on 8 lockdown pounds in March.

by ElCommissioner April 14, 2020