El ritardo's definitions

Surfer Thoughts

Philosophies often thought up by stoned surfers that sit in the back of the shop waxing the boards.

(Surfer thoughts because this bullshit needs to include the word being defined) Dude, aren’t beds like, shelves for your body when you’re not using it?

by El ritardo June 1, 2019

penis popper party

The after-party of the pride parade.

Bill, a straight dude who volunteered for the parade, accidentally fell victim to butt stuff at the penis popper party.

by El ritardo June 25, 2018

rigor morty

When you pop more viagras than it says you should, and you can’t get that dick down.

Tyson had rigor morty after Ibiza, and now they say that he needs a dick transplant.

by El ritardo July 4, 2018

Slurp Juice

One of countless terms for purple drank.

Sipped a big gulp slurp juice earlier, now I feel like I want to throw up.

by El ritardo July 19, 2018

Green Bay Fudge Packer

A sexual act, where one partner toasts cheddar on their penis/strap on, and gives the other a hard ass fudge packing.

Brett favre had always had a kink for the Green Bay fudge packer.

by El ritardo July 2, 2018

Pride Preying

Exploiting/Creating marginalised communities for social/economic gain.

*homosexual transgender individual*: Ugh, I’m tired of these cunts at Starbucks putting rainbows in shit just to exploit me. I just want some fucking soy latte without any extra shit in it.
*me*: Looks like some hardcore pride preying if I’ve ever seen it.

by El ritardo June 5, 2019

hell’s butthole

After getting discharged in Vietnam, Grandpa created hell’s butthole out of desperation. A blend of Bacardi 151, Everclear, and some dragon fruit juice, it lived up to it’s name after he had to get his stomach pumped and a catheter for the rest of his life.

Damn dude! After Wayne slammed down some hell’s butthole, he ran around naked and took a shit on the feds’ cars!

by El ritardo June 25, 2018