Goosetard

A retarded epileptic goose that has the most spasticated fits while playing guitar in front of an audience. The fits occur mostly when he is playing his clever very own composed solo, 10 12. He dances around in the spotlight as if he's the leader of the band he's in. What a spacker!
Why is that boy spinning on the floor?

Thats Goosetard, he has to do that while he's playing his genius solo, 10 12.
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Pork Scotch's Cone

A cone wrongly stolen by Pork Scotch that he once used to keep a space for his small white van outside his house while he went out in it because he thinks he is important because he's a security guard (EVEN more important than Shit Stained Schumachers you know). Because he had no right to do it, I moved it so that a car would park there. When he got back the look of shock on the ugly bastards face was phenomenal when he saw that a car had parked there. With a usual grumpy look on his face, he moved it onto the front of the house. He works from 6pm to 6am so at 10 we put it in a bin bag and took it onto another road an left it on the back of a Maltby lorry. In the morning, he was looking all over the place for his beloved cone with a mad look of disbelief. Looks like he'll never see his cone again. Poor Porky!
SWYTHEERBRIDGE: Whats that orange thing on the back of the Maltby lorry?

MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.
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Pork Scotch Dance

A gay dance that only Pork Scotch will do when drunk at his garlic bread barbeque. It involves bending over and sharply moving his arms back and forward with a delay between each one.
MONKUS: What the hell is Pork Scotch doing?

MICKUS: It's a gay dance he does whenever he gets drunk with his wrinkly 'girlfriend' at one of his daily barbeques.

MONKUS: I see. Pork Scotch dance. Pretty stupid!
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Nogtard

The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.
Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?

Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.
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Neil Cakes

Giant chocolate rice crispy cakes to commemorate the amazing height of Neil.
Dad: Lets make some Neil cakes, monk.

Flobbers: Ok. That guy's a bloody giant. It's a wonder he doesn't smash his head through the roof.

Dad: You've got that right, he's 5 feet 10 inches you know.

Flobbers: Whoooaaa!
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Scotchy Meter

The Scale that shows how scotchy someone is. At the top of the scale is the Scotchy Mother, then Pork Scotch. The Meter shows that no one in the Scotchy World is as Scotchy as The Scotchy Mother. She is even more scotchy than THE Pork Scotch.
Scotchy Mother: I'm the Scotchiest person in the world. The Scotchy Meter says so. I'm even Scotchier than my son, he'll never beat me.

Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.
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Nuts

A word yelled by the rude nig nog woman at Willo's Party, pronounced wrongly as "Hhnaats!" She would only say it about every two minutes when she's eaten all of her nog nuts and when not yelling "Freed!" Willo would then kindly feed the Nogger it's elephant food while it was yelling "oo, oo, ee, ah!" The chimp would not give any of it's masses of food to it's husband, "Cleveland."
Nog: Me eaten de five handred pound o' hhnaats mon.

HHHHHHHNNAAAATS!!!!

Willo: Here's your nuts.

Nog: Piss off Cleveland, mon! Only

me eat a da elephant food mon! You eat a da chimp

food Mon!
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