Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Grandma's Tea Towel

Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag.

After dropping a heavy load on his Cougar, Carl offered her Grandma's Tea Towel to wipe up.

by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014

Waddle Job

To receive head from an elderly female with a large, flabby waddle. During the hummer, the receiver will swat her waddle back and forth while she bobs the knob up and down. At climax, it is customary and appropriate to yank the waddle straight down to help open the throat.

Last week at the over 60's Canasta game, Morty met a lady friend with a flabby, old saggy waddle. He talked her into the janitor closet between hands and she gobbled his goo during a climactic Waddle Job.

by Eaton Holgoode April 18, 2015

Tar Wipes

When one drops a nasty, sticky defection with fecal viscosity that has the consistency of roofing tar. Tar Wipes require multiple wipes and an inordinate amount of toilet paper to clean up.

Frank: Wow Brahhhhh! You were in the crapper a long time. What gives?
Carl: I shouldn't have went to that all you can eat Indian Curry Buffet last night. My bung hole is burning and I got the damn Tar Wipes. Clean the stall out of both rolls of toilet paper and I still feel a little wet and greasy down there like I need a quick rewipe.

by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015

Flubb-Chubb

A semi-erect or semi-flaccid penis (depends upon your outlook you know glass half empty or glass half full).

My economics teacher gives me a Flubb-Chubb.

Rachel was grinding into my cock n balls the whole concert but I only got a Flubb-Chubb.

My uncle tried to give me a handy last night but I only got a Flubb-Chubb.

by Eaton Holgoode November 5, 2018

Bungee Brothers

When a group of uncut males get together to purposely pull and tug on each other's foreskins to see who's will stretch the furthest.

Frank remained the champion of his Bungee Brothers. His buddy was able to tug and stretch his foreskin a full four inches.

by Eaton Holgoode April 18, 2015

Dirty Brillo

A hairy female vagina that was ineptly cleaned post sex. The clinging array of cum and love juices dried in the pussy hair resemble a dirty, used kitchen sink Brillo pad that was used to clean up scrambled egg remnants from a frying pan.

David picked a local prostitute on the way home from work. Wasting no time to get his $10 dollars worth, he pulled her panties down but realized she was sporting a Dirty Brillo and settled for a hummer instead.

by Eaton Holgoode April 6, 2015

Beef Barnacles

A disease riddled cock. Like barnacles on the hull of a boat, it's all cankered up with venereal/genital warts.

The last time I banged a street whore I ended up with beef barnacles.

by Eaton Holgoode April 7, 2017