Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Jelly Jacking

When a male uses a jelly or preserves as a substitute lubricant to wank off and masturbate. Used either out of desperation for some form of lube or because of a food fetish.

Girlfriend: Hey!! Why does your cock taste like my grandma's homemade jelly again?

Boyfriend: Just suck it. I did a little Jelly Jacking earlier.

by Eaton Holgoode March 8, 2017

Missile Dick

An uncircumcised cock. The term missle dick comes from its tapered tip from the foreskin giving a Titan II missile appearance.

I just left the locker room and never have I seen more missile dicks.

by Eaton Holgoode July 27, 2016

Bro Chub

When your bro is taking about sex with his girl and you work up a chub thinking about it.

Dude you gotta stop talking about Ashleigh. Your giving me a bro chub.

by Eaton Holgoode January 14, 2019

Taste the Babies

A gentlemanly way to announce your about to bust your nut in her hungry mouth.

Carl grabbed the back of her head and yelled Taste the babies bitch.

by Eaton Holgoode April 5, 2017

Gravy Plunger

A scat related sexual activity between two individuals of any sex. One of the individuals must be in a pre-state of having explosive diarrhea. Upon that individual, the other performs a rigorous act of either anal fingering, fisting or pegging creating a plunger like effect within the bowels. Immediately upon withdrawing, the individual expels a massive assplosion to the delight and satisfaction of both.

Frank's girlfriend was feeling a little rumble in her bowels. She wasn't sure if it was from Rachel's Rumblies or if she was about to have a case of the Savory Squirts from the what now seemed to be the off fish tacos she had earlier in the day. Not wanting to miss a good chance for some scat play, Frank gave her a good old fashioned Gravy Plunger and fisted her up until he pulled out and she blew shit like a rooster tail all over the bathroom.

by Eaton Holgoode March 28, 2015

Shredded Pork

An engorged and puffy pork ring post a climactic round of unlubricated anal sex.

Girl I can hardly walk to my desk this morning. Luther bent my soapy ass over in the shower and left me with a towel and shredded pork.

by Eaton Holgoode May 16, 2016

Salmon Toupee

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.

Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.

by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009