Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Farmer’s Breakfast

When you wake her up, plow every hole and plant your seed deep in each one.

Sorry I’m late today. I had a farmer’s breakfast this morning.

Rachel has to be sore today. I had a farmer’s breakfast this morning. She was still dripping seed when I left.

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018

The Toledo Tablecloth

The Toledo Tablecloth is primarily used to score revenge or payback and is similar to a Texas Doily. The Toledo Tablecloth is best deployed over an end table or other small decorative table. Once deployed, a rapid exit from the location where it has been laid should be made so as to leave the tablecloth behind for furture discovery.

To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.

Unfortunately, Roger got off from work early and decided to drop by his girlfriend Mary Ann's house and surprise her. To Roger's dismay, he crept in only to find Mary Ann having sex with her neighbor Carl. Roger walked in just as Carl was diggning in the garden. Rather than becoming enraged, Roger did not disrupt their doggie style play and left the room. He copped a squat in the living room and laid a fresh, wet shart in his grunders. He then created The Toledo Tablecloth on Mary Ann's brand new Rooms To Go end table. He quickly left the house so he could clean up his sticky crack corn at a nearby 7-11.

by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014

Rotulence

The most vile, rotten and putrid flatulence that can be expelled from the human body. Rotulence is thick, pungent and engulfs all breathable air within the surrounding area. The odiferous stench can linger for extended periods and often clings to the inside of the nose. Rotulence is noted for its inherent ability to induce gagging and retching in the individuals that come into contact with the rancid gas.

Roger and several of his friends set out for a weekend road trip. The lunch stop at Taco Bell later proved to be an ill fated move when Carl blasted several rounds of a fiery bean burrito induced Rotulence. Roger was forced to pull to the side of the road, roll down the windows and allow everyone out of the car to obtain breathable air. They later drove to a nearby gas station allowing Carl the opportunity to eradicate his rancid bowels.

by Eaton Holgoode September 17, 2015

Beef Nubs

Gum ball sized, meaty, engorged female nipples. Typically accompanied by large areolas.

Rachel took her bra off and wow!!! What a set of beef nubs. I had to suckle.

I sucked her beef nubs last night.

by Eaton Holgoode January 16, 2018

Bung Mouth

Rancid bad breath. An orally residing demonic entity rooted in halitosis. A condition whereby your stank ass mouth and your vile ripe ass smell the same.

Dude go use some mouthwash now. You got fucking bung mouth.

by Eaton Holgoode March 10, 2017

Auntie Hand

When you spend the night at your cousin’s and wake up in the night to your and aunt giving you a vigorous hand job.

I busted curd last night. Your mum gave me auntie hand.

by Eaton Holgoode January 17, 2018

Snug Plug

A highly coveted and highly desirable sex partner with a tight ass hole and/or tight pussy.

Hooked up with that new girl Rhonda last night. After a few drinks, she was loose as creamed corn ready for sex. Lucky me, she's a snug plug. Both holes braaaahhh. Both holes!

by Eaton Holgoode March 2, 2017