Definitions by Eaton Holgoode
Trucker's Knuckles
Trucker's Knuckles refers to a severe case of multiple, external anal hemorrhoids that are raging and irritated and have a thrombosed clot under the skin causing a hard, painful lump appearing like the knuckles on a hand. Trucker's Knuckles often occur regularly to those individuals employed in long haul, over the road, driving professions.
Stan: Hey Frank. Are you heading on that haul from Chicago to L.A?
Frank: Yea and not looking forward to it.
Stan: Why?
Frank: I got the worst case of Trucker's Knuckles. Take a look. (Drops pants).
Stan: Holy Shit. Looks like a tiny fist down there. Better get some salve before you hit the road.
Frank: Yea and not looking forward to it.
Stan: Why?
Frank: I got the worst case of Trucker's Knuckles. Take a look. (Drops pants).
Stan: Holy Shit. Looks like a tiny fist down there. Better get some salve before you hit the road.
Trucker's Knuckles by Eaton Holgoode April 15, 2014
Trucker's Grease
A nasty, greasy skid mark or shit stain created from excessive and repeated release of wet farts and flatulence and Moose Jelly while in a seated position for an extended period of time. Trucker's Grease may also be created from or enhanced by poor wiping of the anus and occurs when the underwear ride up deeper and deeper into the ass crack from squirming and moving about in the seated position.
Jerry packed his bag for the long drive to California. He threw in extra underwear as he anticipated the long dive and hours in the seated position would combine with a nasty road diet of fast food resulting in a lot of Trucker's Grease.
Trucker's Grease by Eaton Holgoode April 15, 2014
Grandma's Tea Towel
Grandma's Tea Towel is an alternative name for but serves the same purpose as a Gak Towel or Doddle Rag.
Grandma's Tea Towel by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014
Spicy Moose Jelly
The same condition that occurs to create Moose Jelly but the liquid left behind after the fart or shart that covers the outer linings of the butt/asshole is from a spicy meal or meals such as Thai food, Mexican food, habanero salsa, etc. Spicy Moose Jelly is noted by a lingering burn and sting of the anus from just even just the smallest amount of jelly.
Darlene started her day off with a delicious jalapeno omelet. At lunch, she joined several co-workers at an office Super Bowl party where she enjoyed several bowls of five alarm chili. For dinner, her husband treated her to dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant where she enjoyed the extra spicy Thai noodles. Her day of savory and spicy dining caught up with her the next day, however. During a morning meeting, Darlene attempted to pass gas due to her bloated feeling and ended up with Spicy Moose Jelly. She sat and squirmed in her seat until the meeting was over so she could do a quick wipe job and relieve the sting.
Spicy Moose Jelly by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014
Grisette Hanky
A small cloth or napkin carried in the purse of a young woman that combines part-time prostitution with some other occupation. The Grisette Hanky is used exclusively to wipe up semen and it's allure comes from its lack of washing and discoloration over time.
Rhonda couldn't make her rent payment with her earnings from her waitress job so she earned extra cash by turning tricks after hours with men she would wait on at the restaurant. Before leaving the house to meet the evening's Johns she made sure she had her Grisette Hanky in her purse. It was stuck to the side of her bag still moist from the evenings prior encounters.
Grisette Hanky by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2014
Grunder Trifecta
A Grunder Trifecta is the ultimate achievement of having the perfect combination of three bodily fluids stains in one's underwear a.k.a. Grunders at the same time. To achieve Grunder Trifecta status, one must have signficiant fecal, urine and semen stains in the underwear at any one given time (if male). If female, fecal, urine and vaginal discharge stains at any one given time.
The Grunder Trifecta stains can be created all at the same time which requires some significant skill with timing, sexual activity and dietary strategy. Most Grunder Trifectas are created over the course of several days or even weeks allowing the stains to form naturally over time which enhances their appearance and sometimes the quantity and thickness of the stains.
The Grunder Trifecta is often done as a precursor to creating a Grunder Quadfecta which adds a fourth element of smell to the underwear. The Grunder Quadfecta creates a strong allure when adding stench and aroma to the stains of a Grunder Trifecta.
The Grunder Trifecta stains can be created all at the same time which requires some significant skill with timing, sexual activity and dietary strategy. Most Grunder Trifectas are created over the course of several days or even weeks allowing the stains to form naturally over time which enhances their appearance and sometimes the quantity and thickness of the stains.
The Grunder Trifecta is often done as a precursor to creating a Grunder Quadfecta which adds a fourth element of smell to the underwear. The Grunder Quadfecta creates a strong allure when adding stench and aroma to the stains of a Grunder Trifecta.
While in the locker room after football practice, Roger noticed that Frank had been wearing the same Grunders for the past week. When confronted about the situation by Roger, Frank advised that he was just a shart stain away from having a perfect Grunder Trifecta and advised Roger that he was planning to go for the Grunder Quadfecta and anticipated after his date with Sonja the Village Bicycle, he expected that the aroma would permeate the locker room and all the team would embelish him with praise over his accomplishment.
Grunder Trifecta by Eaton Holgoode April 13, 2014
Farmer's Nail
Farmer's Nail is to have one or more dirty finger nails and the dirt appears to be typical garden variety "dirt" or potting soil under the nails. However, Farmer's Nail is not regular dirt or soil but is actually feces which is accumulated under one or more finger nails as a direct result of either intentional fingering of a dirty shit plugged anus during a sexual act or from having one or more fingers slip through the toilet paper while wiping one's ass and getting ass dirt or fecal matter under the nails. Having Farmer's Nail does not mean that one did not wash their hands after an anal fingering or after slippage during a wipe job, just that one did not clean the feces from under their nails at the time of the wash job as they may not have known it was present. In most, but not all instances of Farmer's Nail, it is not left under the nail intentionally and is simply an oversight during the clean up process.
Farmer's Nail is also known as Mechanic's Nail which is more frequently used in the automotive industry.
Farmer's Nail is also known as Mechanic's Nail which is more frequently used in the automotive industry.
Carl: Hi Gary. What have you been up to? From the looks of those fingers I would say you have been working in the garden this morning?
Gary: No I have not been in the yard working today. (Looking at nails) Oh No Bro. I had the worst Louisiana Tail Drop earlier this morning and made an absolute mess. I was wiping my sharted ass with both hands and my fingers kept slipping through the wet shat paper. Guess it got under the nails.
Carl: That is some nasty shit brahh! You got the worst case of Farmer's Nail I have ever seen. Go get a toothpick or a nail file and dig that shit out. Nasty.
Gary: No I have not been in the yard working today. (Looking at nails) Oh No Bro. I had the worst Louisiana Tail Drop earlier this morning and made an absolute mess. I was wiping my sharted ass with both hands and my fingers kept slipping through the wet shat paper. Guess it got under the nails.
Carl: That is some nasty shit brahh! You got the worst case of Farmer's Nail I have ever seen. Go get a toothpick or a nail file and dig that shit out. Nasty.
Farmer's Nail by Eaton Holgoode April 13, 2014