Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Flextard

That person at the gym that spends 10 minutes lifting weights and 30 minutes admiring their flex poses in the mirrors.

Flextard over there is having a great workout. He made some gains today.

by Eaton Holgoode November 1, 2018

Dick Neck

A condition of total pain and soreness of the neck muscles caused by excessive cock sucking.

After our long weekend away, I had to pay for a massage for Rachel to help her Dick Neck.

by Eaton Holgoode April 26, 2017

Graspercate

When one intentionally chooses to use the handicap stall in a restroom, when defecating, so that the handicap rails can be grasped and used for leverage. Graspercating is chosen when leverage is needed to gain release of constipated bowels and compacted turds. Similar to a Bar Grabber.

Dave was so constipated from eating a block of choose the night before that he chose the only handicap restroom at the office to Graspercate. With added leverage, he eventually worked out his compacted Egg Plant Turd.

by Eaton Holgoode May 1, 2015

Bakin’ a Snake

Brewing up a big ol’ turd to drop a shit.

I’m bakin’ a snake. Where’s the shitter?

That was a great meal. No doubt I’ll be bakin’ a snake.

It smells like shit in here. Who’s farting? Me. I’m bakin’ a snake. Go take a shit braaaaaahhhh. Nasty.

by Eaton Holgoode October 11, 2018

Summer Pudding

Sex with a sweaty, unwashed prostitute in a back seat of a hot car in a rest area.

I’m so horned up I could go for some summer pudding.

by Eaton Holgoode January 7, 2019

Tangy Ring Juice

The delicious amalgam that forms around the anus during extended periods of analingus. Also known as Booty Juice. Considered a delicacy to the anal connoisseur.

Stan was a Mud Packer and enjoyed nothing more than eating out a nice Brown Round and savoring that Tangy Ring Juice.

by Eaton Holgoode February 27, 2015

Cockspur

1. A thorny plant.

2. Knotted up male pubic hairs. The cockspur is a distant cousin to the dingleberry.

Your cockspur is beautiful. I can’t get mine to grow. I overwatered it.

I have so many cockspur I’m going to have to shave my pubes and regrow.

by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019