Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Uncled 

When you have been touched, fondled, fingered or coitaled by your uncle.

Hun, Aunt Rachel called and wants to know if you want to spend the weekend with cousin Tommy. No thanks mom. I get uncled every time I go there. I was really sore the last time. Ok. I’ll tell her maybe.

Pretty sure I got uncled last night about midnight. The door opened and then a pillow over my face and some quick moving hands.

Uncled by Eaton Holgoode June 15, 2018

Womb Beater 

A large penis that is able to pound her womb during sexual intercourse.

I gave Rachel the old womb beater last night. She was screaming “You’re wombing me! You’re wombing me!” with every delightful thrust.

Womb Beater by Eaton Holgoode June 15, 2018

Rusty Crusty 

Dried shit on the underside of the penis. Occurs from a bad clean up job after anal sex. Usually forms at the penile base and is unseen. Usually discovered on accident by scratching oneself or a partner finds it while giving oral. Whatever, it’s some nasty rusty, crusty shit.

Rachel found some rusty crusty last night when she was sucking muh balls. Since she won’t do anal, I was cold busted and fessed up to punishing her mom’s ass the night before.

That nasty whore left me with rusty crusty. I was scratching my knob and my fingernail was a tad reddish brown.

Rusty Crusty by Eaton Holgoode June 14, 2018

Dirty Sanka 

Using freeze dried, instant coffee for a coffee enema.

Usually happens when the slut you bring home tells you she’s into coffee enemas but you are out of fresh brew so you improvise using the jar of Sanka instant coffee that’s been in your cabinet for five years.

I was pumping that slut’s ass full of coffee with the enema bag but she said it wasn’t quite like she usually feels. She asked if I was using Starbucks but I admitted to giving her the dirty Sanka.

Dirty Sanka by Eaton Holgoode June 14, 2018

Hot Salmon 

The ripe smell of fresh sex that took place in a hot car or a hot room.

This room smells like hot salmon. Who’s been fucking in here?

I just fucked Rachel in the backseat before picking up my mom at work. She could smell hot salmon as soon as she got in.

I don’t know why but my uncles house always smells like hot salmon.

Hot Salmon by Eaton Holgoode June 14, 2018

Dutch Arm 

A condition marked by swelling and soreness of the upper or lower from receiving too many dutch rudders.

I think Rachel pulled a muscle during that last dutch Rudder she gave me. Three dutches a day for the last four months has given me dutch arm.

Dutch Arm by Eaton Holgoode June 14, 2018

Bob Neck 

A sore neck from vigorously bobbing the knob aka sucking dick too much.

Rachel had the bob neck so bad from the weekend I had to pay for her to get a massage.

I don’t mind spending the weekend at my cousins house but when my uncle comes around I end up with bob neck.

Bob Neck by Eaton Holgoode June 14, 2018