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Definitions by Dumu The Void

Arbitrary Reality Fallacy

The logical error in which something is considered true or false based on arbitrary, often self-serving criteria rather than evidence or consistent standards. This fallacy is rampant in politics and economics, where the same person will demand "rigorous proof" for climate science while accepting election fraud claims based on a single Twitter post. Truth becomes a menu: you pick what you want to believe, and reality is just whatever supports your side. The arbitrary reality fallacy is how people can look at the same economy and one sees booming success while another sees crushing failure—both are looking, neither is using a consistent measuring stick, and both are convinced the other is delusional.
Example: "He used the arbitrary reality fallacy in every argument. When she cited unemployment statistics, he said government data was fake. When she cited private research, he said it was biased. When she cited his own previous statements, he said he'd been misquoted. Reality, for him, was whatever allowed him to win the argument. She stopped arguing, because you can't debate someone who brings their own facts and changes them as needed."

Arbitrary Obsolescence Fallacy

The claim that socialism and communism are outdated ideologies from the 19th century, while capitalism is presented as timeless, natural, and permanently relevant—despite capitalism also being a 19th-century ideology that has changed dramatically over time. This fallacy arbitrarily declares one set of ideas expired while granting another eternal freshness, based on nothing but preference. It's like saying horses are outdated but cars are forever, ignoring that cars will also be obsolete someday, and that the criteria for "outdated" are entirely made up. The arbitrary obsolescence fallacy allows capitalism's defenders to avoid engaging with socialist critiques by simply declaring them old, as if age determined validity rather than, you know, evidence and argument.
*Example: "In the debate, he deployed the arbitrary obsolescence fallacy: 'Socialism is a 19th-century idea that failed everywhere it was tried. Capitalism is modern, dynamic, the future.' She pointed out that capitalism was also a 19th-century idea, that it had also failed many people, and that 'modern' was just a vibe, not an argument. He responded with 'but look at the stock market.' The fallacy held strong."*

Separation by Rupture Fallacy

The rhetorical move of pretending that capitalism, imperialism, and colonialism are separate phenomena with no meaningful connection, despite overwhelming historical evidence that they evolved together, supported each other, and continue to intertwine. This fallacy argues that sure, colonialism was bad, but that's over now, and capitalism is a different thing, and imperialism is something other countries do. It's like separating a cake into "flour," "sugar," and "eggs" after it's been baked and insisting they were never really connected. Separation by rupture allows people to enjoy the benefits of systems built on exploitation while claiming moral distance from the exploitation itself.
Separation by Rupture Fallacy Example: "The historian explained how British colonialism enabled the Industrial Revolution through resource extraction and forced markets. The commenter responded with separation by rupture: 'Colonialism was bad, but capitalism is just free markets! They're totally different!' The historian sighed, pointed at the cotton in their shirt, the tea in their cup, and the rubber in their shoes—all products of that 'rupture'—and wondered if history class had been canceled."

"But it works" Fallacy

The logical error of justifying a dysfunctional system by pointing to its occasional successes, often deployed in defense of late-stage capitalism when someone mentions poverty, inequality, or environmental destruction. The argument goes: "Sure, there are problems, but look at all the iPhones! Look at the economic growth! It works!" This ignores that "works" is doing a lot of heavy lifting—defining success as "some people are very rich" and "you can get Amazon packages in two days" while conveniently overlooking the millions who are struggling, the planet that's burning, and the democracy that's for sale. The "but it works" fallacy is the intellectual equivalent of praising a car because the radio plays, while the engine is on fire and the brakes are failing.
"But it works" Fallacy Example: "When she pointed out that millions of Americans can't afford healthcare, he responded with the 'but it works' fallacy. 'We have the best hospitals in the world!' he said. 'Capitalism works!' He was in the best hospital, ignoring that she couldn't afford to get in. The system was working great—for him. That's kind of the point."

Explain How a Wheel Works

The act of breaking down the mechanics of something that is intuitively obvious to anyone with functional eyesight and basic physics intuition. This phrase is deployed when someone overexplains a simple process, treating it as if it's rocket science rather than, well, a wheel. It's what happens when your friend who just took a physics class tries to explain why a ball rolls, or when a politician gives a 20-minute speech about why they support something that everyone already supports. The explanation is usually technically correct and completely unnecessary, like a detailed analysis of why water is wet.
Explain How a Wheel Works Example: "My date spent 15 minutes explaining how a wheel works—friction, rotation, axles, the whole deal. I'd asked if he wanted to go for a bike ride. He thought I needed to understand the physics before I could safely pedal. I rode home alone, understanding wheels perfectly, questioning my life choices."

Explain What a Wheel Is

The act of defining something so universally understood that defining it is either a philosophical exercise or a profound waste of time. This phrase is used when someone treats a basic concept as if it's esoteric knowledge, or when a manager asks for a "high-level overview" of something everyone already knows. It's the verbal equivalent of explaining what air is—you can do it, but why would you? The only people who need a wheel explained are infants, aliens, and that one coworker who somehow got hired despite never having used a computer before.
Explain What a Wheel Is Example: "At the strategy meeting, the consultant asked us to explain what a wheel is—to define our core business, our mission, our reason for existing. We'd been there for a decade. The wheel was fine. The consultant got paid $50,000 to be told what a wheel is by the people who built it. We're still angry."

Explain How to Build a Wheel

The act of providing an excruciatingly detailed tutorial on something so fundamentally simple that anyone with basic competence already knows how to do it, usually performed by someone who just learned it themselves and is desperate to feel useful. This phrase is invoked when someone tries to teach you something you've been doing successfully for years, or when a corporate training session covers material that could have been an email. It's the pedagogical equivalent of explaining how to breathe—technically informative, practically useless, and slightly insulting. The subtext is always "I assume you're an idiot," delivered with a smile and a PowerPoint.
Explain How to Build a Wheel Example: "The new software trainer spent an hour explaining how to build a wheel—literally walking us through how to click the 'new document' button, save a file, and use the undo function. We've all been using computers since the 90s. Twenty people silently screamed into their coffee mugs while the trainer beamed, proud of their thoroughness."