Drex Johnson's definitions
Face, Tits, Pussy.. The basic "big 3" pics required before a gentleman decides if it is worth having a midnight randyvous with any lady in question that he may have found while browsing the internet on his wankport..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Richard always insisted on getting the FTP shots from any lady he was considering meeting, but often he would blow his load immediately he saw them and then decide she was too much of a cheap slut anyway.. So perhaps it was counterproductive in a strangely unexpected way.. Wankers remorse..?
by Drex Johnson October 19, 2014
Get the FTPmug. The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
Get the ball baggedmug. The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..
Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..
Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..
The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the one-eyed-bed-snakemug. The clear fluid that dribbles from the eye of a gentlemans pleasure pole prior to the big unloading..
So called because it is similar in taste and consistency to the stuff that leaks out of Fido's nose..
Useful for lubricating the mammaries as you thrust the man-meat between them before giving madam a pearl necklace..
So called because it is similar in taste and consistency to the stuff that leaks out of Fido's nose..
Useful for lubricating the mammaries as you thrust the man-meat between them before giving madam a pearl necklace..
Madam: "Have you cum?"..
Sir: "Not yet darling.."
Madam: "Whats that mess on me tits then?"..
Sir: "That's just dog snot dear.. Tadpole soup will be delievered shortly..
Sir: "Not yet darling.."
Madam: "Whats that mess on me tits then?"..
Sir: "That's just dog snot dear.. Tadpole soup will be delievered shortly..
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
Get the dog snotmug. Acronym. Would Rather Insert My Dick In The Hoover..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Phrase often used by gents of integrity when discussing the Drex Rating of a target specimen..
Useful for bar room banter when ladies are present, especially "friends" of the beast are within earshot..
Of course, that means one may be asked to explain what it means..
Jack:- So then, Drex, would you slip it one?
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
Drex:- Wrimdith..
It's Friend:- What's that mean?
Drex:- Well, Rather Interesting. Most Desirable, I Truly Hope..
It's Friend:- Thats great, she has been after you for ages, I'll go tell her, she will be well chuffed..
Jack:- You're in luck Drex! Go for it!
It:- Hi Drex, Feeling lucky tonight?
Drex:- You look absolutely stunning tonight I have to say, and this kingsized boner I have for you is truly ready for the pleasures of the night.. But first of all, allow me to buy you a drink in the time honoured way of the true gentleman.. Just wait here a moment, I'll have to pop out to the car and get my wallet...
by Drex Johnson October 21, 2011
Get the WRIMDITHmug. A person who avoids their obligations in the bedroom (or any other place where sex can be expected to happen)..
Drex was most put out at the expectation that he should shaft Big Lady after she had made him another fine meal..
All he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but the thought of her labelling him a "Shag Dodger" in the morning was too depressing to contemplate so he reluctantly Rogered her brains out several times..
All he really wanted to do was go to sleep, but the thought of her labelling him a "Shag Dodger" in the morning was too depressing to contemplate so he reluctantly Rogered her brains out several times..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
Get the Shag Dodgermug. A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..
Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson June 20, 2011
Get the gash mastermug.