Drex Johnson's definitions
An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
Get the Barbie Hammock mug.Internet connection, usually via laptop, personal computer.. Can be used to access services other than pr0n.. (Theoretically)..
John was just about to lose his mess when all of a sudden the faptop shut down and proceeded to install a much needed windows upgrade (sarcasm)..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
His wankport now out of commission, John was forced to thumb through the NEXT catalogue ladies underwear section for emergency wrist fodder..
by Drex Johnson August 25, 2013
Get the wankport mug.Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
Get the badger queen mug.The act of meeting for sex at a time best chosen for its deliberate inconvenience for any other activities, thus getting round and avoiding the usual boredom, expense and interrogative shit of a "date"..
My therapist told me my low levels of respect for women probably stemmed from my habit of only ever agreeing to meet them for a midnight randyvous, after spending several hours priming them for action via MSN and other forms of internet self-abuse
by Drex Johnson July 21, 2011
Get the Midnight Randyvous mug.Glans penis.. The knob end, bobbies helmet, poison tip, of a gentlemans pleasure pole..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Commonly known as the "bell end". The term "bellus terminus" was first used in posh private boys schools by boys who were not that good at latin..
Richard drove home in the morning back to his lovely sweet wife who he loved dearly.. Following a night of extreme pleasure with one of the promiscuous students at the local university, his marraige vows had been broken, his shaft looked like a grated carrot, and his Bellus Terminus looked like a blind cobblers thumb.. But it was worth it!
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
Get the bellus terminus mug.The status of once proud and fearless gent of integrity who has lost his freedom and right to roam by submitting to the manipulations of a "ball bagger"..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
This sad turn of events often happens to men in the prime of their lives, and could be a reaction to the stresses of "freedom" and the poor quality of casual pick-up material on offer these days..
Usually such specimens of men are rarely seen outside of the work environment or at family gatherings usually arranged by their miserable and deeply insecure female "owners". Any attempt to assert their previous rights to roam are met with histrionics, prolonged sulking, sex strikes and threats of "violence by proxy" often involving family members or friends of the ball bagger, the police, or family courts..
A ball bagged man is the butt of many jokes, as he lives in a form of comfortable castration rather like a neutered housepet.. But never has any real fun anymore, because his balls, are in "she who must be obeyed"'s handbag..
Bill realised, as he looked in the mirror at a body that was once lean and athletic but now looks as sad and sorry as the heap of lard sulking on the sofa that had ball bagged him into this pathetic life, that he was not really able to escape now. The price would be too high and he didn't want to end up unable to see his child, even though that was what had trapped him in this situation in the first place..
by Drex Johnson July 22, 2011
Get the ball bagged mug.The language used by amateur (and sometimes professional) psychologists and sociologists to talk bollocks in order to invalidate an opponent in a debate, court, or forum..
A load of head-jism..
A load of head-jism..
"The shrink told the court I was a psychotic, manic, schizo, narcissistic, empathy devoid and unsuitable human being for anything worthy of respect.. But frankly, thats just a load of psycholojism, commonly known as 'bollocks'..
I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
by Drex Johnson November 12, 2011
Get the psycholojism mug.