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Drex Johnson's definitions

badger queen

Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...

She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..

Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..

Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..

She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..

She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
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Barbie Hammock

An absorbent item worn by a woman while she is menstruating, recovering from vaginal surgery, for lochia (post birth bleeding), abortion, or any other situation where it is necessary to absorb a flow of blood from a woman's vagina.
Big Lady had a very heavy period that evening and the Barbie Hammock she had borrowed from her daughters dolls house simply wasn't sufficient to plug the flow from the barn doors.. So she grabbed Dave's Ushanka hat and unceremoniously stuffed it in the stench trench in full view of the other guests..
by Drex Johnson October 23, 2012
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sperm sponge

A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 3, 2008
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Common Universal Natural Tendency

How to say "Cunt" without making it obvious..
I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
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fingering the dog

lazy around and doing nothing of note other than surfing the web, watching crappy TV or abusing house pets etc..
"Hey William, you really aught to come train in the gym and get yourself ready for the beach, instead of spending all your free time fingering the dog.."
by Drex Johnson March 8, 2010
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psycholojism

The language used by amateur (and sometimes professional) psychologists and sociologists to talk bollocks in order to invalidate an opponent in a debate, court, or forum..

A load of head-jism..
"The shrink told the court I was a psychotic, manic, schizo, narcissistic, empathy devoid and unsuitable human being for anything worthy of respect.. But frankly, thats just a load of psycholojism, commonly known as 'bollocks'..

I told the judge to shove it up his fucking arse.. I guess that proved a point.."
by Drex Johnson November 12, 2011
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gash master

A large and useful tool that can always do the job to satisfaction..

Gent with a reputation for satisfying the ladies sexually..
Step aside", said the tall dark stranger.. Gripping his robust and solid tool in both hands.. "Gash master will show you how its done!
by Drex Johnson June 20, 2011
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