Riding astride the chest of a large breasted milk maid prior to releasing a portion of tadpole soup twixt the humps and over the face..
Miss Jones's tits are made for jug surfing! What greater pleasure can a gentleman have than to get his solid masculinity in the trough between the soft pulpy wonders and thrust away till the cream beans come out to play!
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
Get the Jug Surfingmug. Face, Tits, Pussy.. The basic "big 3" pics required before a gentleman decides if it is worth having a midnight randyvous with any lady in question that he may have found while browsing the internet on his wankport..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Until this File Transfer Protocol has been completed, risk of disappointment is often too high to make it worth considering making the trip..
Richard always insisted on getting the FTP shots from any lady he was considering meeting, but often he would blow his load immediately he saw them and then decide she was too much of a cheap slut anyway.. So perhaps it was counterproductive in a strangely unexpected way.. Wankers remorse..?
by Drex Johnson October 19, 2014
Get the FTPmug. lazy around and doing nothing of note other than surfing the web, watching crappy TV or abusing house pets etc..
"Hey William, you really aught to come train in the gym and get yourself ready for the beach, instead of spending all your free time fingering the dog.."
by Drex Johnson March 08, 2010
Get the fingering the dogmug. Rather less attractive than a "cougar", the badger queen spends her time, money and energies trying to persuade men to have a relationship with her by offering a range easy sexual services...
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
She thinks she is entitled to anything she wants, your cock, anyone else's cock, her ex-husbands home, kids and wallet, a made-up job created at tax payers expense, 24 hour police protection, children (anyone's.. as long as she gets paid for "looking after" them)..
Usually securely employed in (overpaid) menial state sector work, such as nursing, and claiming vast amounts of welfare money too as a result of having pushed out a fanny turd or two.. She has protected status in a feminist dominated society and mistakes this for respect..
Usually seriously overweight and often drunk, she mistakes the lumps of dough hanging off her chest for attractive breasts and likes to find ways of presenting these amorphous heaps to the attention of potential victims..
She tries her best to hide the apron of lard that overhangs a vagina that looks like a cold congealed doner kebab wedged between a sumo wrestlers thighs..
She is trapped in this deluded lifestyle for the foreseeable future and the best she can hope for is a sad "fuck-buddy", while she tries to come to terms with her inability to persuade any bloke with a shred of self-respect to take her and her STD's on..
Hey, John, I had a date tonight with this woman who looked worth a poke on the face pic, but, well, when I saw the body and heard what she had to say, it was clear she was a rancid badger queen.. I went to the gents, did a runner, and never looked back!
by Drex Johnson July 18, 2011
Get the badger queenmug. A stupid slut that a non-committal guy uses for sex.
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
Also a dumb bloke used as a scratching post by a busy women when she gets an itch in her pants..
"I dumped her, she said she just wanted a fuck buddy, but I bet she'd be trying to get me to move in within a few weeks.. "
by Drex Johnson November 03, 2008
Get the fuck buddymug. A woman who seems to have a tendancy to soak up semen from all directions with no obvious limitation.
stop pestering, ive shagged you 15 times already and its nearly time for breakfast.. Go make me a full english you fucking sperm sponge..
by Drex Johnson November 03, 2008
Get the sperm spongemug. I was going to ask my girlfriend if would be OK for me to spend an evening out on the town getting shitfaced with the lads, but the Common Universal Natural Tendency of a woman does not approve of a man enjoying himself without her being there..
by Drex Johnson September 30, 2014
Get the Common Universal Natural Tendencymug.