Definitions by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II

extravulvicular activity

Cheating on your girlfriend.

Guy1: Dude, you didn't shag what's-her-tits last night, did you? If your girlfriend finds out, you're dead meat.

Guy2: What can I say? We were just having a few drinks, one thing led to another, and...yes, I guess I did engage in extravulvicular activity I'm probably going to regret.

Guy1: Was it worth it?

Guy2: Oh, hell yeah.

extravulvicular activity by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II October 17, 2013

Terminal Vulvocity 

The tangential speed at which the female genitalia reaches as it spins around a stripper pole, just before she falls off.

I saw a performance last night at the club that was unbelievable! I saw not 1, but two dancers achieve terminal vulvocity, and seriously fall on their sweet little asses.

Terminal Vulvocity by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012

Meat Whiz

Processed meat in an easy-to-open container. The meat equivalent to cheese whiz.

I'm in the mood for a toasted cheeze and spam samich. Mmmm meat whiz!

Meat Whiz by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012

Carpet Time 

The duration of your feet resting comfortably on the floor mat while on cruise control.

Dude, I had 20 continuous minutes of carpet time on I-85 on my morning commute. How lucky was that?

Carpet Time by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012

e-Balls 

The scenario where a no-name administrative person sends threatening emails based on a lame attempt to pacify the demanding boss.

I got another email from that beyotch in payroll. She grew a pair of e-Balls in this last email.
I'll turn in my expense report when I'm damn good and ready.

e-Balls by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012

Blow Job Hairdo 

When a woman has her hair wrapped up in a pony tail, flipped up on top.

Boyfriend: “I always like your hair the way you have it all wrapped up on top and in the back.”
Girlfriend: “I'll bet you do! That's my blow job hairdo”

Blow Job Hairdo by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 16, 2012

Vulvatum

The girlfriend's abstinence threat to the boyfriend.

Dude, my girlfriend just gave me a vulvatum!...
She told me that if I went to this strip club just one more time, she'd cut me off!

After a few more lap dances, I'll tell you how I skilfully used “the fuck word” in my response to her.

Vulvatum by Dr. Howard Hevalaqua, II January 8, 2012