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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd's definitions

Jesum Crow!

A bastardization of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" but less vulgar.
Jesum Crow! I dropped one of my diamonds in the macaroni!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2008
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moistmaker

an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread inside a turkey sandwich to make it extra moist. Monica on "Friends" invented it and Ross named it. Ross got really upset one time, when his boss ate his sandwich with a moistmaker.
Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moistmaker?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2007
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snooch to the nooch

sometimes used as a war cry, for example when saving women from attack by demons outside abortion clinics.
Bethany: Aaaahhhhhhh!
Jay: SNOOCH TO THE NOOCH!
Stygians: Wtf?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd March 8, 2008
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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
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Is it soup yet?

It means "Are you finished?" or "Is it time?"

Comes from a 1970's Lipton instant soup commercial, notable on several levels. First off, it was a slam against Campbell's which was merely condensed. Lipton did Campbell's one better and removed itself even further from the real stuff, by removing ALL the water and powdering the soup. Only when re-hydrated with boiling water, was it again soup.

So kid's in commercials would ask, "Is it soup yet?"

AND BACK THEN, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING!!

The fact that it was even more prefab than Campbell's was a selling point!
Wife: I'll be ready to go in a minute?
Husband (a few minutes later): Is it soup yet?
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2008
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Don't even go there.

Don't try that. Don't bring up that subject. You'll get nowhere with me, by trying the argumentative tactic that you just attempted.
Person #1: Hey, stop drinking my beer!

Person #2: Well, you took a nibble of my chicken diable that time.

Person #1: Don't even go there.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd September 28, 2008
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crack pipe

what people tell you to put down, when you say something stupid.
Stupid Person: How many calories does water have?

Me: Put down the crack pipe. It doesn't have any, it's water.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 7, 2007
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