A crazy man from upstate NY with a chainsaw, a wood chipper, and a business card. He portrays himself as an "arborist." He offers tree cutting services, but will trim your bush for free if you let him.
He peeps in windows and videos women getting out of the shower. He is the second cousin of Tree-Fucking-Carl, sometimes spelled Tree Fucking Carl, or TreeFuckingCarl, and he is severely inbred.
He leaves cameras attached to the trees outside your window which stream video live to his Carl shack, where he and all the other Carl's hang out and jack off while watching Carl trim your bush.
He peeps in windows and videos women getting out of the shower. He is the second cousin of Tree-Fucking-Carl, sometimes spelled Tree Fucking Carl, or TreeFuckingCarl, and he is severely inbred.
He leaves cameras attached to the trees outside your window which stream video live to his Carl shack, where he and all the other Carl's hang out and jack off while watching Carl trim your bush.
Girl 1 "I just hired an arborist to trim the trees around my house"
Girl 2 "I hope it's not Chainsaw Carl! Lol."
Girl 1 "it's that crazy fuck with the chainsaw and wood chipper that's peepin' and creepin' around!"
Girl 2 "I hope it's not Chainsaw Carl! Lol."
Girl 1 "it's that crazy fuck with the chainsaw and wood chipper that's peepin' and creepin' around!"
by Double take July 10, 2025
A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
by Double take July 10, 2025
An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025
Kid "mom, can you please sign up up for sports this summer?"
Mom "the court said Dad is in charge of that."
Kid "he's suck a DICK!"
Mom "the court said Dad is in charge of that."
Kid "he's suck a DICK!"
by Double take July 10, 2025