Definitions by Dick Onchin

Lunch Meat n’ Beat 

When you are on lunch break and the urge to beat off and bust nut out takes over. So you peel the lunch meat off your sandwich (turkey, roast beef, pastrami, etc.) and wrap it around your stiff, turgid cock creating that coveted skin to skin feel. This causes you to immediately commence gloriously wanking away until the nut custard is blown.

Mom picked me up a pound of pink roast beef at the deli. Lunch meat n’ beat is going to be good this week.

Lunch Meat n’ Beat by Dick Onchin September 19, 2020

Kentucky Clogger 

Clogging a public toilet with a entire roll, two if available, of toilet paper. Then dropping the most massive, heinous shit one can muster up into the clogged bowl. This is followed by the most important feature of the Kentucky Clogger. With an empty toilet paper roll or one’s finger, depending upon preference, scoop up a little dollop of shit and write “Mitch was Here!” on the toilet seat.

I stopped at the truck stop to snap a douche and medicate my trucker’s knuckles and every stall had a Kentucky clogger.

I was surprised when I visited the rest room at the capital on the side of the House. I found a Kentucky clogger. I’m didn’t think Mitch left the senate to go over to the house.

Kentucky Clogger by Dick Onchin September 18, 2020

Punching the Asterisk 

To rail on and dick down the old booty hole. To work his or her brown asterisk like a boss and rearrange that lower intestine.

She bent over to pick up the kids mess and the next think you know I’m punching the asterisk.

My Grindr hookup up wasn’t very clean but I still ended up punching the asterisk.

Punching the Asterisk by Dick Onchin September 18, 2020

Panty Strudel

That thin flaky crust in the panty gusset comprised of vaginal discharge.

I need a bath I got panty strudel.

The aromas of her panty strudel was intoxicating.

Panty Strudel by Dick Onchin September 13, 2020

Mister Microphone 

The male penis. The cock.

Come over here you slut and speak to mister microphone.

She blew mister microphone for a half hour till I busted nutz.

Mister Microphone by Dick Onchin September 13, 2020

Spoonbilling 

Eating her from the back and rhythmically and simultaneously massaging the nose on her bunghole.

Rachel loves it when I start spoonbilling her after a hot shower.

I was spoonbilling a prostitute in Vegas. Not one of my more finer moments. The desert heat really can cause a mungy ass.

Spoonbilling by Dick Onchin September 13, 2020

Cheese Hoodle 

When the uncut cock is all smegging out the dick cheese all around the hood.

He pulled out his cheese hoodle and wanted me to suck it.

I will never forget the taste of uncle Frank’s cheese hoodle.

Cheese Hoodle by Dick Onchin September 13, 2020