10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
person1: i think my family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 23, 2009

person1: i play american football
person2: u mean puff rugby
person1: u wot!!!
person2: its basicly rugby with pads and a helmet!!!!!!!
person2: u mean puff rugby
person1: u wot!!!
person2: its basicly rugby with pads and a helmet!!!!!!!
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 19, 2009

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
person1: hey u wanna know the creation of a pussy
person2: ye
person1: (reads it out)
person2: lol true
person2: ye
person1: (reads it out)
person2: lol true
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 23, 2009

a great sport all in all, requires an unbeliveable amount of precision and skill, takes so much practice as most people will appreciate, milimeters off perfect strike and it's a shit shot, that is why golf is payed huge amounts in professional tournaments.
the fitness side of things is amazing most golfers are extremely athletic, aswell as walking a course which is about 4-5 miles long. it is a game 4 the fit!
the fitness side of things is amazing most golfers are extremely athletic, aswell as walking a course which is about 4-5 miles long. it is a game 4 the fit!
golf seems the easyist thing 2 play in the world when u r playin well, and can also seems the hardest game in the worl when u r playin shit
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) September 19, 2009

the ultimate weapon for school kids everywhere, there will never be a shortage of them so there will always be one that works
person 1: shit my favorite website has been blocked, what a bummer
person 2: try this proxy website it unblocks everything
person 1: everything??!!
person 2: EVERYTHING!!!!!
person 1: cheers m8
person 2: try this proxy website it unblocks everything
person 1: everything??!!
person 2: EVERYTHING!!!!!
person 1: cheers m8
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) May 04, 2009

the combination of the john and edward the irish joke contestants on x factor, these two have faces u want to smack, there is no way of describing how much normal people hate them. the reason they are in is because some irish twat named louis walsh relised they have v same accent as him and put them through, most people were releved when simon cowell hated them saying they were awful, that is until when lucie jones and jedward were in the bottom 2, with 2 votes sending jedward home and only 1 for lucie, simon could have sent jedward home (hopefully never to be seen again), but somehow he decided to take it to a public vote, we all know what happened after
why he did it remains a mystery, some people think he was doing it for the ratings and getting more money, others think he felt she was threatening his acts chances, we will never know, all we know is they are both twats.
why people are voting for them is also a mystery, origanaly most people did it to piss off simon, but now that is not the case, so i hope u people see sense and kick there twatish faces out as soon as possible
and remember, if they win wtf would be their winning single
why he did it remains a mystery, some people think he was doing it for the ratings and getting more money, others think he felt she was threatening his acts chances, we will never know, all we know is they are both twats.
why people are voting for them is also a mystery, origanaly most people did it to piss off simon, but now that is not the case, so i hope u people see sense and kick there twatish faces out as soon as possible
and remember, if they win wtf would be their winning single
person1: jedward are twats
person2: i agree, they have faces u want to smack don't u think
person1: ye
person3: ye they are twats, i wanted lucie to win but thats not going 2 happen because of them
person2: i agree, they have faces u want to smack don't u think
person1: ye
person3: ye they are twats, i wanted lucie to win but thats not going 2 happen because of them
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) November 16, 2009

a term in golf that is used to describe a ball running along the ground quite quickly, comes from the fact that it hits the worms so fast they set on fire
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) August 25, 2009
