DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT)'s definitions
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
man: i loved ur naked body 25 years ago, i just wanted to fuck the living shit out of u on the anniversary
woman: what u thinking now
man: looks like i did a pretty good job!!(woman slaps him while the man is pissing himself laughing!!)
woman: what u thinking now
man: looks like i did a pretty good job!!(woman slaps him while the man is pissing himself laughing!!)
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 24, 2009
Get the THE ANNIVERSARY mug.How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 25, 2009
Get the tornadoes and women mug.Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 25, 2009
Get the SAFE SEX TIPS mug.by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 25, 2009
Get the LABATYFO mug.when there is the biggest amount of pubes next to a girls pussy uve ever seen!! therefore looking like a lions mane
person1: how was that chick u banged last nite
person2: she had a massive lion mane
person1: sickage!!!
person2: she had a massive lion mane
person1: sickage!!!
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 26, 2009
Get the lion mane mug.impossible as it may sound it is a fail worse than epic fail, this kind of fail is like blowing up a building by accident, or shooting the president cos you thought he looked like the person you were supposed to shoot, or punching an 80 year old to death cos you thought he said somthing about your mum etc the list goes on
person1: did you here that news about the man that blew up his own house by accident
person2: ye he's a supersonic fail
person2: ye he's a supersonic fail
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 29, 2009
Get the supersonic fail mug.A guy was watching over his kid for nightly prayers.
The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird. That night, the kid says "Goodnight mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
The father is like this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodngiht mommy, and goodbye daddy."
The father freaks. He's all like I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work. at the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day. She says YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!
The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird. That night, the kid says "Goodnight mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
The father is like this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodngiht mommy, and goodbye daddy."
The father freaks. He's all like I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work. at the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day. She says YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!
person1: hey u heard bout dis guy who had a really bad day, people started dropping dead infront of him.
person2: who died
person1: first the grandma died then the grandad died, then th following morning the postman was dead on the doorstep
person2: lol fail
person2: who died
person1: first the grandma died then the grandad died, then th following morning the postman was dead on the doorstep
person2: lol fail
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 29, 2009
Get the bad day mug.