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D F STuckey's definitions

trouser trumpet

A loud but musical breaking of wind, or fart.
"As a hush descended on the dinner room at Hogwarts, just as Dumbledor rose to speak a sudden sharp trouser trumpet honked into the air. Ron Weasley looked as red as a beetroot; In fact, it was Hermione who in typical muggle fashion had done it, but was willing to pass it on to Ron."
by D F Stuckey July 9, 2004
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Make hay while the sun shines

To take an opportunity to do something when the time and conditions are near perfect or available.

From agriculture, when farmers gather the long grass growth of summer to dry it to produce hay as winter feed for animals; The best time to cut and dry the hay is during sunny days.
A:"There's a sale at K-mart this week - You wanna see if the have something for your sister's birthday?"
B:" Sure - Might as well make hay while the sun shines, and get her something at cut price!"
by D F Stuckey May 15, 2004
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benchmarks

Points of reference for a particular task or job. Or indicators of how well someone is doing.

Based on the days when engineers tested equipment for various vehicles on benches, and had marked the bench with reference points to show how well the device performed.
The basic benchmarks here in this job include that you perform at least 90% of the tasks in each working day, and clear at least 50% of anything left from the day before.
by D F STuckey March 23, 2004
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boowai

Mythical river in New Zealand, used for a location of something or someone whose location is unknown to the speaker, or where time is being wasted.

Mispronunciation of the Maori name of Puhwhai, a meandering and swampy river in Northland.
A."where's John?"
B."Up the boowai somewher, I guess."

Richard:"I'm back, dear!"
Judy:"From the boowai, I suppose, not doing anything useful!"
by D F Stuckey March 6, 2004
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Remuera Battletank

New Zealand slang for a large SUV named for an expensive suburb of Auckland.
"A Remuera Battltank was parked in front of me, filling up of gas. The driver asked me if I wanted to pull up and share the pump, and when I said 'yes" he said 'Tough Cheese, inbred.'"
by D F Stuckey February 18, 2004
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human

Bipedal creature found on Earth. First creature in the biosphere to succesfully refine abstract thought into more than the ability to lie and/or delude itself, humans developed the technique of picturing the way things might be and then planning ways to make reality fit the pattern.

This faculty turns in upon itself, however, when the attempt fails, leading to such emotional conflicts as self-loathing, bias against more succesful others, self-worship, or sublimation of individualism into a group mind.

Humans have borrowed many traits from other species such as hunting for pleasure ( from cats and squids ), enslaving other species ( from ants ), protecting and nurturing other species to gather products from them ( from ants ), spoiling other creatures habitats by their own constructs ( from beavers ), and creating and sharing habitats with other creatures ( from corals, rodents and birds ). Humans have invented several concepts for themselves, such as artistic endevour for its own sake, resource gathering and stockpiling for its own sake, ignorance and self-delusion as a natural right, love and attraction not solely for the purpose of reproduction, worship of the different, lack of diversity as a positive, and worship of the identical.

Humans are capable of percieving that they are less than what they imagine themselves to be. This is not only their major problem, it is also their major strength.
" Some say modern humans are smarter than cavemen, some say we are less. I think we are exactly as smart as cavemen, and that is pretty smart indeed".
by D F Stuckey July 5, 2004
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note to self

Verbal comment underlining a topic arising from what has occurred in a conversation or activity. Usually meant to be funny, and probably self directed to defuse an embarrassing situation.

Taken from the habit of people using a recording device to make notes not directly involved with the subject.
A:"So, how did your day go?"
B:"Lousy! I just want to go straight to sleep tonight . . . "
A:"Oh, ok, honey. Note to self: Go and put out the candles in the bedroom."
by D F Stuckey July 9, 2004
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