Winkle

This is a reference - used by mothers- to refer to the common periwinkle (a type of shellfish, resembling a small snail, and commonly found on shores in the northern hemisphere) and how much the contents of the shell resemble a little boys penis.
‘Kevin, don’t forget to give your winkle a good shake after you’ve had a wee-wee!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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Hand-shandy

A sexual act carried out by all classes of society amongst males of solitary habits upon their own loins, or by a female upon the loins of a male. It involves the manual manipulation of the male organ in order to achieve sexual solace. This practise is very common. It is believed that the term refers to the white froth found floating on a glass of shandy (an alcoholic fizzy drink comprised of beer and lemonaide) and the similarities between this foam and the effluxion of sexual fluid that occurs during the moment of male solace.
Bert couldn’t wait to get in the back seat with Edna. She asked him if he wanted a hand-shandy!’
by Colonel Barnaby February 16, 2023
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Wanker

This is a term of derision, commonly used by people of the lower-classes. It refers to the act of self-abuse, or self-stimulation of the sexual organs, by both male and female sexes. It was particularly frowned upon during the Victorian era, when it was thought that the act of self-abuse could lead to blindness or even the madhouse. The person manipulating his or her loins in order to achieve sexual solace would therefore be the ‘wanker’. However, today it is more often used to signify a person is dim-witted or has an unsavoury character.
“That copper was a right wanker! He stopped me for speeding’ in me car and now I’m gettin’ a fine an’ points on me licence!”
by Colonel Barnaby February 10, 2023
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Bum bandit

This term refers to an inverted male who seeks sexual pleasure by committing his loins to the rectum of another male. This term has sinister connotations and suggests that the inverted male has violent or unwanted intentions. It was a widely used terminology in the 1950s and 60s, but is still encountered today, particularly among the lower classes.
‘Be careful when you’re with Tarquin; when he’s had a few drinks he turns into a right bum bandit!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 22, 2023
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Cottaging

A term used by inverted men - both young and old- who like to frequent public lavatories (which they call ‘cottages’) in order to experience sexual solace.
‘Keep away from those toilets, Fred, it’s full of nine-bob-notes going cottaging!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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Joe-bags

A term very commonly used in the 1940s and 50s by juveniles to describe a French letter or condom. It has been claimed that the term derives from the time when millions of ‘GI-Joes’ (American soldiers) were issued with French letters as part of their equipment. As a result, Europe was flooded with Joe-bags.
‘I bought a packet of Joe-bags from the barbers this morning. I need them because I’m going to shag Doris tonight!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 18, 2023
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Nine bob note

A pseudo-comical term used to describe an effeminate man. It was in common use prior to the decimalisation of the currency in 1971, when a ‘bob’ meant one shilling. It refers to the ten shilling note (10/-); and alludes to a male who seeks sexual comfort from other males with a fraudulent currency note or forgery.
Aubrey likes to collect recipes and is always gossiping with girls. I’m sure he’s a nine bob note!’
by Colonel Barnaby January 19, 2023
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