Definitions by Chodingus

Sevenoaks Shit Missile

When in cold weather (ideally snowing), a man proceeds to defecate into his hands, and instinctively launches it into a crowd or unsuspecting individual.

I hear it’s going to snow, so I will commute to my local park and perform a Sevenoaks Shit Missile to supply warmth for the locals.

Sevenoaks Shit Missile by Chodingus June 17, 2026

Chodeing

Repeated and prolonged pressure on a sentient phalic object to forcefully influence and mould the structure in hopes of creating a wider and shorter body.

My wife requested more girth in bed, so I partook in frequent Chodeing.

Chodeing by Chodingus June 17, 2026

Cranbrook Shave

When a man defecates and instantaneously proceeds to collect his feces and uses it as lubricant for a facial shave.

Oh no I lack possession of shaving cream! I shall now perform a trusty Cranbrook Shave.

Ahh I see your shaving cream is running low, shall I teach you how to perform a Cranbrook Shave?

Cranbrook Shave by Chodingus June 17, 2026