Muttiah Muralitharan is a Sri Lankan off-spinner who has always thrown, still throws and will continue to throw every ball he bowls (or, well... throws)
Muralitharan (or Murali as he is known) is an extremely likeable person who has done much to increase the popularity of the game and is also heavily involved in humanitarian work, as seen in the aftermath of the 2004 Asian tsunami disaster.
But for all this Murali is a still a chucker. Several myths now circulate about how he has been proven not to throw the ball, and unfortunately more people buy these as time goes on.
"Muralitharan has a defect which means he cannot straighten his arm". If this were true then it should have been a case of bad luck, but if you can't bowl according to the rules then you can't play international cricket. Too bad it's not true. On the rare occasions that he bowls a leg spinner you will notice that his arm is PERFECTLY STRAIGHT. He has been tested with a brace to keep the arm straight and it was reported that he turns the ball just as far. So then why doesn't just keep it straight and avoid the controversy? Or bowl leg spin, which he is more than competent at?
"Murali's action has been cleared by a panel of experts and the ICC." Not really. The results showed that his arm flexes by 5 degrees when bowling the offspinner and 14 degrees when bowling the doosra. The spineless ICC, rather than deal with a controversy (Zimbabwe, anyone?), just changed the rules so everyone could straighten their arm by 10 degrees. And what's to stop you bowling differently in the lab? Every cricketer knows their action changes with an "effort" ball out on the field.
"Murali has such flexible shoulders and wrists that, at real time, it gives the optical illusion of straightening the arm". Look at a still photo of Murali at the point of delivery. 'Nuff said.
The saga has been carrying on for so long now that it has worn most down to the point of "Oh for God's sake just let him chuck." It's probably too late to have his name expunged from the record books, but Murali will eventually grab as many Bangladeshi and Zimbabwean wickets on tailor-made decks as he feels he needs to, then finally carry through on one of his constant threats to retire. Hopefully then he can continue his great work off the field, and leave more of a legacy than a generation of Sri Lankan kids who are all running around with bent arms at the moment.
And the cricket world will breathe a sigh of relief, until the next crisis...
Muralitharan (or Murali as he is known) is an extremely likeable person who has done much to increase the popularity of the game and is also heavily involved in humanitarian work, as seen in the aftermath of the 2004 Asian tsunami disaster.
But for all this Murali is a still a chucker. Several myths now circulate about how he has been proven not to throw the ball, and unfortunately more people buy these as time goes on.
"Muralitharan has a defect which means he cannot straighten his arm". If this were true then it should have been a case of bad luck, but if you can't bowl according to the rules then you can't play international cricket. Too bad it's not true. On the rare occasions that he bowls a leg spinner you will notice that his arm is PERFECTLY STRAIGHT. He has been tested with a brace to keep the arm straight and it was reported that he turns the ball just as far. So then why doesn't just keep it straight and avoid the controversy? Or bowl leg spin, which he is more than competent at?
"Murali's action has been cleared by a panel of experts and the ICC." Not really. The results showed that his arm flexes by 5 degrees when bowling the offspinner and 14 degrees when bowling the doosra. The spineless ICC, rather than deal with a controversy (Zimbabwe, anyone?), just changed the rules so everyone could straighten their arm by 10 degrees. And what's to stop you bowling differently in the lab? Every cricketer knows their action changes with an "effort" ball out on the field.
"Murali has such flexible shoulders and wrists that, at real time, it gives the optical illusion of straightening the arm". Look at a still photo of Murali at the point of delivery. 'Nuff said.
The saga has been carrying on for so long now that it has worn most down to the point of "Oh for God's sake just let him chuck." It's probably too late to have his name expunged from the record books, but Murali will eventually grab as many Bangladeshi and Zimbabwean wickets on tailor-made decks as he feels he needs to, then finally carry through on one of his constant threats to retire. Hopefully then he can continue his great work off the field, and leave more of a legacy than a generation of Sri Lankan kids who are all running around with bent arms at the moment.
And the cricket world will breathe a sigh of relief, until the next crisis...
The Muralitharan Song
(To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently down the pitch
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Isn't life a bitch?
Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently through the air
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Here comes Darrell Hair!
NO BALL!
(To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)
Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently down the pitch
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Isn't life a bitch?
Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently through the air
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Here comes Darrell Hair!
NO BALL!
by Choda Boy 57 September 05, 2006
Get the Muralitharan mug.A complete and utter oxygen thief.
Rob Thomas is another of today's talentless, gutless bitches who, for some bizarre reason, is supposedly a (if not THE) torch-bearer for contemporary singer-songwriters.
It would be easy to ignore this tosser as yet another creator of whingy, whiny, pass-the-Kleenex, "let's make music that millions of teenage girls will love and more importantly buy" crap. Unfortunately, endless tales of his song-writing genius are constantly rammed down our throats.
Well, if Rob Thomas is the spokesperson for our generation then Christ help us all.
Since his debut single with Matchbox 20 (at least in Australia) Push, every single song has been the same gut-wrenching tale of heart-break, woe and misery. Ever notice how every song is about how unwell/bent/diseased/generally fucked up Rob is? Ever notice how just about every line in every song starts with "I"? The world waited with baited breath when Rob cast off the shackles of his band and we were promised that, as a solo artist, Rob's full range of talents would be unleashed. What did we get? "I don't wanna be lonely no more..." Every song is overwrought with emotion, but the lyrics are like the bad poetry that freshly-dumped teenagers write and then burn immediately. What a one-trick pony. But then why change when there's the next wave of 14 year old girls to be hooked on his rubbish (and Pepsi too, the fucking shill)
By all means, have an angsty song, have an angsty album if you must, but an entire career? Even Alanis Morrisette got over hers.
We get the message, Rob. Why not try using whatever talent you have to make people feel better about themselves for a change?
And, by the way, most guys are NOT jealous of him. Not jealous of his dubious talent, and definitely not jealous of his looks. Any wonder he bangs on about being so unwell, he looks like his liver's failing.
Rob Thomas needs to be put into the same meat grinder as Ben Lee, James Blunt and all the other imitators he has spawned. See Ben Lee for more truth!!!
As the great Bill Hicks said, this is not a matter of taste or opinion. Rob Thomas sucks. End of story.
Rob Thomas is another of today's talentless, gutless bitches who, for some bizarre reason, is supposedly a (if not THE) torch-bearer for contemporary singer-songwriters.
It would be easy to ignore this tosser as yet another creator of whingy, whiny, pass-the-Kleenex, "let's make music that millions of teenage girls will love and more importantly buy" crap. Unfortunately, endless tales of his song-writing genius are constantly rammed down our throats.
Well, if Rob Thomas is the spokesperson for our generation then Christ help us all.
Since his debut single with Matchbox 20 (at least in Australia) Push, every single song has been the same gut-wrenching tale of heart-break, woe and misery. Ever notice how every song is about how unwell/bent/diseased/generally fucked up Rob is? Ever notice how just about every line in every song starts with "I"? The world waited with baited breath when Rob cast off the shackles of his band and we were promised that, as a solo artist, Rob's full range of talents would be unleashed. What did we get? "I don't wanna be lonely no more..." Every song is overwrought with emotion, but the lyrics are like the bad poetry that freshly-dumped teenagers write and then burn immediately. What a one-trick pony. But then why change when there's the next wave of 14 year old girls to be hooked on his rubbish (and Pepsi too, the fucking shill)
By all means, have an angsty song, have an angsty album if you must, but an entire career? Even Alanis Morrisette got over hers.
We get the message, Rob. Why not try using whatever talent you have to make people feel better about themselves for a change?
And, by the way, most guys are NOT jealous of him. Not jealous of his dubious talent, and definitely not jealous of his looks. Any wonder he bangs on about being so unwell, he looks like his liver's failing.
Rob Thomas needs to be put into the same meat grinder as Ben Lee, James Blunt and all the other imitators he has spawned. See Ben Lee for more truth!!!
As the great Bill Hicks said, this is not a matter of taste or opinion. Rob Thomas sucks. End of story.
by Choda Boy 57 August 20, 2006
Get the Rob Thomas mug.(Australian) - any cheap and nasty booze that gets you totally off your guts.
This is not related to the Seppo version of "two buck chuck" where the chuck refers to the specific brand of booze (Charles Swan). The "chuck" in Australia refers to the act of vomiting, which an average bottle of this stuff will do to you.
There are many types of cheap stuff for around five bucks a bottle, but as a pre-requisite they must smell and taste like a blend of juniper berries and paint stripper.
As favoured by 16-year-olds everywhere.
See also Goon Of Fortune, park the tiger
This is not related to the Seppo version of "two buck chuck" where the chuck refers to the specific brand of booze (Charles Swan). The "chuck" in Australia refers to the act of vomiting, which an average bottle of this stuff will do to you.
There are many types of cheap stuff for around five bucks a bottle, but as a pre-requisite they must smell and taste like a blend of juniper berries and paint stripper.
As favoured by 16-year-olds everywhere.
See also Goon Of Fortune, park the tiger
Classic examples of five buck chuck drinks: Spumante, Passion Pop, Mississippi Moonshine, or anything in a cask (goon).
by Choda Boy 57 August 15, 2006
Get the five buck chuck mug.A brilliant multi-purpose word:
1. (verb) to sell something. Generally the price is low or the goods are dodgy.
2. (verb) to lose a sporting match, usually football, by a huge margin
3. (verb) to masturbate. Sometimes extended to "flog the dog" or "flog the log".
4. (verb) to steal something
5. (verb) to assault somebody
6. (noun) a poser, someone who likes to big-note themselves. Relates back to (3).
1. (verb) to sell something. Generally the price is low or the goods are dodgy.
2. (verb) to lose a sporting match, usually football, by a huge margin
3. (verb) to masturbate. Sometimes extended to "flog the dog" or "flog the log".
4. (verb) to steal something
5. (verb) to assault somebody
6. (noun) a poser, someone who likes to big-note themselves. Relates back to (3).
1. I flogged my piece of shit car to some uni student.
2. We got flogged by 15 goals today.
3. I caught my little brother having a flog today.
4. Some arsehole's flogged my ciggies!
5. I took this smart-arse out the back of the pub and gave him a flogging.
6. Look at that wanker in the Porsche talking on his car phone. What a flog.
2. We got flogged by 15 goals today.
3. I caught my little brother having a flog today.
4. Some arsehole's flogged my ciggies!
5. I took this smart-arse out the back of the pub and gave him a flogging.
6. Look at that wanker in the Porsche talking on his car phone. What a flog.
by Choda Boy 57 August 12, 2006
Get the flog mug.Australian term for briefs, Speedo bathers or any other skimpy men's underwear that makes the wearer's package look like a bag of mixed lollies. Bad news for unfortunate witnesses.
Other useful terms are tighty whities, budgie smugglers (awesome mental picture that) and banana hammock.
Other useful terms are tighty whities, budgie smugglers (awesome mental picture that) and banana hammock.
by Choda Boy 57 August 24, 2006
Get the lolly bags mug.A marginally acceptable form of the word "cunt".
Highlighted by a joke involving a teacher applying for a new job. The principal asks her name and she says "Miss Franny". "Ooh, I don't think I'll remember that" says the principal. "It's easy" says the teacher, "just think of Fanny with an R". The teacher gets the job and the next day when the principal is introducing her to her new class he says "Children, I'd like you to meet your new teacher... Miss Crunt!"
For all the bemused Americans - "fanny" in Australia and Britain means "vagina", not "butt".
Highlighted by a joke involving a teacher applying for a new job. The principal asks her name and she says "Miss Franny". "Ooh, I don't think I'll remember that" says the principal. "It's easy" says the teacher, "just think of Fanny with an R". The teacher gets the job and the next day when the principal is introducing her to her new class he says "Children, I'd like you to meet your new teacher... Miss Crunt!"
For all the bemused Americans - "fanny" in Australia and Britain means "vagina", not "butt".
by Choda Boy 57 August 11, 2006
Get the crunt mug.A most unwelcome honour, a member of the Suede Patch Club is a bloke who has not had sex for so long, his gigantic balls need a suede patch sewn on to the underside to protect them from rubbing on the ground.
by Choda Boy 57 August 17, 2007
Get the Suede Patch Club mug.