holy snapping duck shit!

Yet another Australian expression of surprise, disbelief ar anguish. There is quite a collection of these (see tags below).

Usually said with each word pronounced very separately and deliberately, but is quite often uncontrolled. The first thing I said when I turned on the TV and saw the World Trade Centre collapse was:
by Choda Boy 57 August 24, 2006
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Shitty Mouth Fairy

The tooth fairy's evil sister. She visits people sleeping in the middle of the night and gives them horrible morning breath.
Ergh, I've had a visit from the Shitty Mouth Fairy.
by Choda Boy 57 August 12, 2006
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belt it up your arse

Australian version of "stick/shove/ram/cram/jam/poke it up your arse"
Belt it up your arse: "When the mechanic told me it was gonna cost five hundred bucks to fix me car, I told him to belt it up his arse."
by Choda Boy 57 August 15, 2006
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dingo with a straw

The natural enemey of a test-tube baby.

Joke referring to the Azaria/Lindy Chamberlain case in Australia in the early 80's. Lindy's baby daughter Azaria was taken from a central Australian campsite by a dingo. Lindy was convicted of her murder but the baby's jacket was found in a dingo's den a few years later and the conviction was overturned.

"A dingo's got moi baibee!" (and no, we do NOT talk like that, or the Bart vs. Australia episode of The Simpsons! Just thought I'd clear that up!)
Q. What's the natural enemy of a test tube baby?
A. A dingo with a straw!
by Choda Boy 57 August 24, 2006
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Muralitharan

Muttiah Muralitharan is a Sri Lankan off-spinner who has always thrown, still throws and will continue to throw every ball he bowls (or, well... throws)

Muralitharan (or Murali as he is known) is an extremely likeable person who has done much to increase the popularity of the game and is also heavily involved in humanitarian work, as seen in the aftermath of the 2004 Asian tsunami disaster.

But for all this Murali is a still a chucker. Several myths now circulate about how he has been proven not to throw the ball, and unfortunately more people buy these as time goes on.

"Muralitharan has a defect which means he cannot straighten his arm". If this were true then it should have been a case of bad luck, but if you can't bowl according to the rules then you can't play international cricket. Too bad it's not true. On the rare occasions that he bowls a leg spinner you will notice that his arm is PERFECTLY STRAIGHT. He has been tested with a brace to keep the arm straight and it was reported that he turns the ball just as far. So then why doesn't just keep it straight and avoid the controversy? Or bowl leg spin, which he is more than competent at?

"Murali's action has been cleared by a panel of experts and the ICC." Not really. The results showed that his arm flexes by 5 degrees when bowling the offspinner and 14 degrees when bowling the doosra. The spineless ICC, rather than deal with a controversy (Zimbabwe, anyone?), just changed the rules so everyone could straighten their arm by 10 degrees. And what's to stop you bowling differently in the lab? Every cricketer knows their action changes with an "effort" ball out on the field.

"Murali has such flexible shoulders and wrists that, at real time, it gives the optical illusion of straightening the arm". Look at a still photo of Murali at the point of delivery. 'Nuff said.

The saga has been carrying on for so long now that it has worn most down to the point of "Oh for God's sake just let him chuck." It's probably too late to have his name expunged from the record books, but Murali will eventually grab as many Bangladeshi and Zimbabwean wickets on tailor-made decks as he feels he needs to, then finally carry through on one of his constant threats to retire. Hopefully then he can continue his great work off the field, and leave more of a legacy than a generation of Sri Lankan kids who are all running around with bent arms at the moment.

And the cricket world will breathe a sigh of relief, until the next crisis...
The Muralitharan Song
(To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently down the pitch
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Isn't life a bitch?

Throw, throw, throw your ball
Gently through the air
Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali
Here comes Darrell Hair!

NO BALL!

by Choda Boy 57 September 04, 2006
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Ben Lee

Ben Lee is an Australian singer who is a complete pain in the arse.

The Beastie Boys made the mistake of telling him a few years ago that he had some talent. He then came straight out and declared himself the best singer-songwriter of Australia's past, present and future (without actually having really done anything).

Ben Lee apologists will tell you that this remark was taken out of context, or blame it on the naivety of youth. Unfortunately this arrogance continues to pervade his work - you only need to read an interview of his.

The worst thing that sucks about this guy is the image he tries to portray, as this thoughtful, arty, indie, uber-alternative sort of musician. You will find him posing for photos or album covers with the same quizzical wide-eyed blank stare.

Exactly the same thing happens with his music. Just before his last album was released he was running around telling everyone who'd listen that he was taking us on a magical journey, that this was the result of all of his song-writing experience, and he was so happy with what he was doing.

The end result is the most mainstream, disposable pop you could ever imagine. If it was made by somebody else you would think it was probably OK, but when you're expecting the next Paul Simon it's a bad joke. His lyrics are simple, childish and repetitive (see "Gamble Everything for Love") and even a marginally acceptable song like "Catch My Disease" is ruined by his thin, reedy, high-pitched voice.

While I know you can't do too much about how you look, his gigantic ears and stupid Frodo-like hair are laughable and nauseating at the same time. I suspect he plays up on this to further enhance the "arty" image. When people knock his music he blames the fact that most Australians don't like nerdy looking guys, and he cracked the shits and went to the US and was briefly with Claire Danes (the celebrity missus...SOOOO alternative!)

I don't know how popular he is in the US or UK but if you come to Australia and meet one of his fans or hear his music, don't be sucked in. Ignore the inevitable stacks of thumbs-down this will attract because unfortunately the 14 year old girls who think he's fantastic will spew when they hear the truth.

Ben Lee, along with guys like Rob Thomas and James Blunt, is the reason mainstream pop sucks as much arse as it does these days.

Ben Lee is a conceited fraudster who needs to be put in the meat grinder.
The opening line of the Ben Lee song "Catch My Disease" goes "My head is a box filled with nothing". You've got it right there, Ben.
by Choda Boy 57 August 14, 2006
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Chew 'n' Spew

What you call any restaurant or fast food chain that you're not particularly fond of. Translates to "Eat 'n' Vomit" in Aussie slang, and a play on the "X 'n' Y" convention of naming eateries where X relates to eating, and Y is usually 'Go'.
Grab us a burger from the local Chew 'n' Spew willya?
by Choda Boy 57 March 16, 2008
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