Definitions by Carl J. Maltese

the joy of meaningless studies 

What you experience in junior college, community college, and/or beauty school.

"After twelve+ years of elementary-junior-senior-high-school and an exciting job in the lucrative field of fast food preperation, I just can't wait to experience the joy of meaningless studies in junior college!"

the joy of meaningless studies by Carl J. Maltese July 16, 2007

dresses that can only be worn once 

Those expensive prom dresses you just had to have.

"I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"

dresses that can only be worn once by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007

pat robertson

The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!

"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"

pat robertson by Carl J. Maltese June 10, 2007

howard stern 

The greatest DJ who ever lived. Period.
The only man with any guts to stand-up to the Powers-That-Be and tell the uncensored truth!
The first truly alternative morning radio show worth listening to, as compared to the "Morning Zoo Crews."
The only one worth listening to.
The ONE!

"Howard Stern has the distinct honor of having a public rest-room named after him on the Jersey Turnpike!"

howard stern by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007

UCSA 

United Christian States of America.

What the Religious Right would like to see our country become.

Some very good descriptions of America becoming a theocratic tyranny can be found in "The Armageddon Crazy" by Mick Farren and "Revolt in 2100" by Robert A. Heinlein

"I could see the tattered stars-and-stripes with a large gold cross occupying the very center of it. This was the flag of the UCSA: the United Christian States of America.
God help us."

UCSA by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007

hilary duff 

Just another damn clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney.
When she is all-used-up, Disney will just order some new ones to unleash on the public.

Hilary Duff: living proof that you can be beautiful, untalented and stupid.... AND still be rich.

hilary duff by Carl J. Maltese May 29, 2007

prom 

Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.

Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"

prom by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007