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Carl J. Maltese's definitions

Stand-up philosopher

A Bullshit Artist!!

(From the Mel Brooks movie "History of the World, part one.")
Unemployment Office Person: "Name and occupation?"

Comicus: "Comicus, Stand-up Philosopher."

Unemployment Office Person: "A what?"

Comicus: "A Stand-up Philosopher. I take the collasence of daily life and produce anectdotes that have synonymous meaning with various people."

Unemployment Office Person: "Oh. A bullshit artist!"

Comicus: "Uh...Yeah."

Unemployment Office Person: "Well, did you bullshit today? Did you try to bullshit today? Try harder or we'll have to cut-off you payments. Next please!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
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SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Law-enforcement Division.

Fictional super-spy organization from Marvel Comics' "Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD"

This "organization" also provided a thread of continuity within nearly all of Marvel Comics' titles from the mid-1960's until the early 1990's.
"Just as it looked like the end for Captain America, a helicopter full of SHIELD agents showed up in the nick of time!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
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SHADO

Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization.

Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.

Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.
"Once you join SHADO, you can never leave!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
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Hanes grazer

Derogatory term for a homosexual male. First used by Howard Stern.
"Are you just another turd tapping Hanes grazer!?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 13, 2007
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Oceania

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984."
Oceania consists of North and South America, Austrailia, New Zealand, some of the Pacific islands, all the Atlantic islands--including the British Isles-- and South Africa. The British Isles are known as "Airstrip 1."
"One was expected to stand at attention when 'Oceania 'tis for thee' played over the telescreen..."
by Carl J. Maltese April 14, 2007
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Scurv

1970's term for who are now referred to as burnouts and dirtbags.
"You know that new kid around the corner? The one with the hippie parents? He's a real cigarette smoking Scurv!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
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Betz

"I dare to shout 'Betz!' the spoken name of the Ultimate Evil! I dare not ever utter It's Unspeakable Name, It's Unspoken Name, It's True Name!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
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