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Capuchin for Hire's definitions

deadman's trigger

Most recently coined by the post-apocalpytic cybernetic dystopian future of the videogame series "Shadowrun". A deadman's trigger is essential a delayed automated message which can be sent via text or email after the initial user's death usually with urgency.You may have also seen a similar phenomenon in old cowboy movies. Today it is possible to send such text or messages through third party software or tech savy people.
Person 1: I just received a video message of my parents will through my "email"
Person 2: "Arn't they rock climbing in a remote area? Sounds like a "deadman's trigger."
Person 1:" Oh no they must have just died!"
by Capuchin for Hire February 11, 2024
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Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..
Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.
by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023
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Tranqbuzzer

An alarm clock you setup as a failsafe after a night of self-bargaining with sedatives so you can get deep sleep without going overboard.
Person 1: "Man how do you keep waking up on time?"
Person 2:" I used my tranqbuzzer, i really dont want to be here."
by Capuchin for Hire March 24, 2022
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Second-hand monkey-hand

When the intial do teller gets told what to do.
Josh: "Go wash the dishes Mike."
Mike:"Go take out the trash Josh."
Carl: "Dam that's some Second-Hand Monkey-Hand."
by Capuchin for Hire April 23, 2022
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Fuckafunction

When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.
Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"
by Capuchin for Hire June 26, 2023
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Bozodozer

Someone who does no not avoid deliberate traps and still benifits.
Person 1: "Did you see that video last week?"
Person 2: "About the cake in the mangrove forest?"
Person 1:"Yea, the guy is an absolute bozodozer. He took a slice while there was an alligator scoping him out in the back."
by Capuchin for Hire March 19, 2022
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Jack the Track

When you create artificial traffic by actively using a bunch of bots or phones in a single vehicle to dissuade other gps users from using the same pathway as you.
Steve: Yo we gotta be in LA in less then 10hrs, lets make like Moses and Jack the Track!
Kenneth: Ok let me just boot up these 50 phones and run google maps to the same spot , No traffic no static.
by Capuchin for Hire August 11, 2023
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