Capuchin for Hire's definitions

Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..

Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.

by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023

Welingo

When you make a grammatical error because you were subconsciously hungry when trying to perform said literary task.

Person: Dam I forgot how to spell hangry, must be my welingo kicking in.

by Capuchin for Hire January 19, 2022

Fuckafunction

When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.

Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"

by Capuchin for Hire June 26, 2023

Second-hand monkey-hand

When the intial do teller gets told what to do.

Josh: "Go wash the dishes Mike."
Mike:"Go take out the trash Josh."
Carl: "Dam that's some Second-Hand Monkey-Hand."

by Capuchin for Hire April 23, 2022

Mundane Monday

When the start of your work week is so slow and devoid of objectives that you can't find anything to escape the existential dread at work

Kenny:"Yo there's no orders and the warehouse is all fixed up, what is there to do?
Rick:" Milk the clock i guess, just another mundane monday."

by Capuchin for Hire June 10, 2023

Going Mcpremium

When a burger joint reduces their meat patty quality to ramp up sales by switching to the same meat patty supplier as McDonald's without adjusting their prices.

Fred:"Yo what's up with my waygu hamburger?It taste like school lunch."
Greg:" They're Going Mcpremium, they got 100 chain stores across the south now, gotta keep jacking those numbers up!

by Capuchin for Hire June 10, 2023

stamp of self-approval

A coffee cup stain left on the work desk that validates any blueprints or plans you have on paper.

I was hesitant about building that new workout equipment even though I didn't have all the resources, but after that cup of mojo left a stamp of self-approval on my blueprints I said "I'm doing this shit!"

by Capuchin for Hire December 31, 2022