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Capuchin for Hire's definitions

Fuckafunction

When everything from your work life, morning rituals, and weekend is compromised. So you yell in it dismay.
Person 1:" My job sucks, they closed my favorite 80s spot that I go to after work, and the Club Houses no longer honor the yearly winners with plaques. My entire week is compromised!"
Person 2:" Man fuckafunction."
Person 1:"fuckafunction!"
by Capuchin for Hire June 26, 2023
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Second-hand monkey-hand

When the intial do teller gets told what to do.
Josh: "Go wash the dishes Mike."
Mike:"Go take out the trash Josh."
Carl: "Dam that's some Second-Hand Monkey-Hand."
by Capuchin for Hire April 23, 2022
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Turd Spawn

When a dude manages to find a monster shit in a public restroom and records it for laughs but it ends up getting the attention of paleontologist who think they can replicate the living organism that birthed the atrocity in a lab. Such organism is known as a turd spawn..
Jeff: Yo you see that instagram video of that monster shit?!
Kyle: Yea apparently they think an elusive cretaceous animal layed it now they are trying to revive a replica with it.
Jeff: Sounds like a Turd Spawn.
by Capuchin for Hire October 1, 2023
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fourth-dimensional vampire

A fourth-dimensional vampire is someone who lives in a different timeline and only seeks to further their agenda, often times only appearing to vibe check unsuspecting people engaged in a different activity.
Derek:"Dam I can't believe Steven just dropped by to laugh at me playing cards at the local casino."
Josh: "Doesn't that dude have gremlins now? I haven't seen him since we graduated highschool 10 years back."
Derek:" Yea he hasn't changed much, he really is a fourth-dimensional vampire."
by Capuchin for Hire June 20, 2021
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Monkeypox

A disease spawned from the vengeful spirit of Harambee to plague the human race for his unjustly death.
Person 1:man I got cysts everywhere!
Person 2: Monkeypox is a bad omen enacted by Harambee the great.
by Capuchin for Hire August 4, 2022
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Mundane Monday

When the start of your work week is so slow and devoid of objectives that you can't find anything to escape the existential dread at work
Kenny:"Yo there's no orders and the warehouse is all fixed up, what is there to do?
Rick:" Milk the clock i guess, just another mundane monday."
by Capuchin for Hire June 10, 2023
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craiglist mercenary

Someone who's employment has been mostly if not all through craiglist and is on a constant lookout for better job listings , potentially exceeding that of Johnny Sins.
Person 1: Yo bro how do you know so much about plumbing and electronics, why are you still here?
Person 2: I've had a lot of previous jobs through craiglist, I've been a plumber,butcher,machinist,warehouseman,undertaker, trucker, and phone repairman. I'm just here holding out here for the next job... you could call me a craiglist mercenary.
Person: Dam! A life well lived.
by Capuchin for Hire January 11, 2023
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