Definitions by Capstone
humknocker
acronym/slang
Half Ur Money Never O Csee Kids Ever Right
A woman so extraordinarily attractive that a man would arguably risk losing half his money in a divorce settlement and visitation rights to his children just by being near her. The term derives from the instinctive appreciative hum a person makes upon seeing someone that stunning, combined with the gut-punch realization of what acting on that attraction could cost.
Origin: Coined circa 2010 by an individual who, upon witnessing a woman of exceptional attractiveness, found himself unable to articulate the specific combination of qualities that made her so dangerous to his financial future and custody arrangement — and decided the English language needed a word for it.
Half Ur Money Never O Csee Kids Ever Right
A woman so extraordinarily attractive that a man would arguably risk losing half his money in a divorce settlement and visitation rights to his children just by being near her. The term derives from the instinctive appreciative hum a person makes upon seeing someone that stunning, combined with the gut-punch realization of what acting on that attraction could cost.
Origin: Coined circa 2010 by an individual who, upon witnessing a woman of exceptional attractiveness, found himself unable to articulate the specific combination of qualities that made her so dangerous to his financial future and custody arrangement — and decided the English language needed a word for it.
humknocker by Capstone May 15, 2026
aub
Typically, an individual who associates themselves with the loveliest little village on the plains, known as Auburn University. They are also known to associate themselves with a severe, often unhealthy inferiority complex regarding their cross-state rival, The University of Alabama, the State's flagship institution. This complex is also commonly referred to as the "red-headed stepchild syndrome," which is ironically appropriate because Auburn is a dark shade of the color orange. Historically, you can identify an 'aub' by their country/confused clothing style (sometimes including flannel, yes it's 2008).
The mere sight of anything 'Bama related will send a true 'aub' over a cliff psychologically. They are certain to tell anyone who will listen that Coach Paul W. "Bear" Bryant is dead and was a drunk with a certain morbid glee. They have also been known to proclaim that 'Bama fans live in the past, are delusional, are 'side-walk' fans (an apparent swipe at fans who didn't attend the Capstone), and label them "Bammers," and as a last resort will yell "6." They will call The University of Alabama the "crapstone", UAT, or any number of other school-yard labels. As you can see, this inferiority complex is bred into their herd over the generations. Much like dementia, diabetes, ebola, and avian flu, there is no known cure for this complex. Fortunately, the large animal hospital on Auburn's campus is making great strides while championing the effort to find a cure.
The mere sight of anything 'Bama related will send a true 'aub' over a cliff psychologically. They are certain to tell anyone who will listen that Coach Paul W. "Bear" Bryant is dead and was a drunk with a certain morbid glee. They have also been known to proclaim that 'Bama fans live in the past, are delusional, are 'side-walk' fans (an apparent swipe at fans who didn't attend the Capstone), and label them "Bammers," and as a last resort will yell "6." They will call The University of Alabama the "crapstone", UAT, or any number of other school-yard labels. As you can see, this inferiority complex is bred into their herd over the generations. Much like dementia, diabetes, ebola, and avian flu, there is no known cure for this complex. Fortunately, the large animal hospital on Auburn's campus is making great strides while championing the effort to find a cure.
Dude #1: Have you ever experienced a football weekend at Auburn?
Dude #2: No, I've heard the aubs have goat sex and roll the entire campus with toilet paper after they place a football game.
Dude #1: Lame-ass aubs.
Dude #2: Exactly.
Dude #2: No, I've heard the aubs have goat sex and roll the entire campus with toilet paper after they place a football game.
Dude #1: Lame-ass aubs.
Dude #2: Exactly.