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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

environmentalist

A person who lives in a nice timber and stone house filled with wooden furniture, who advocates a total ban on cutting trees and mining. This person is inevitably a city-dweller, but acts as if he knows what is best for people in rural environments, especially those dependent on timber cutting or mining. This makes an environmentalist as popular as a turd in the punch bowl in rural places. An environmentalist uses liberal judges sitting in courts of law, rather than the legislative process, to shove his plans down everyone else's throat.

Recently, some environmentalists have recognized that they do not appeal to rank and file citizens of the USA. This is good news.

Compare an environmentalist with a conservationist, a person who wants to protect natural resources without trampling on everyone else's property rights. Typical conservationists are hunters, fishermen, campers, and hikers.
Environmentalists recommend turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Colorado. They do not advocate turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Massachusetts. "Not in MY back yard, they say."
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
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.45-70

The .45-70 is a very old, very large rifle cartridge. The fine lever action Marlin model 1895 is chambered for the .45-70. The typical factory load has a 400 grain flat tipped or hollow point bullet. This is a fine cartridge for white-tail and mule deer, elk, moose, bison, and bears of all kinds.
The .45-70 is also a wonderful cartridge for use in the city. The large, heavy bullet makes effective kills on Bloods, Crips, Pachucos, and other slime-ball vermin. With the standard open sights on a Marlin 1895, you can easily grease a greaser at 300 feet -- far out of range of the kinds of guns criminals carry.
You do not have to worry about Crips or Pachukes getting their greasy hands on a .45-70 rifle to shoot back. First, pantywaist liberals in big cities do not own .45-70 rifles, so punks can't steal them. Second, inner city hoodlum slimes all fire guns by holding them on their side at arm's length. If a Pachuco tries that with a .45-70, he will bust all his teeth and his greasy nose too.
Belt Mountain Enterprises makes a "punch bullet" in .45-70. A punch bullet will go through a moose, a bear, or a bison from end to end. It will just as easily go through 11 or 12 Bloods. After it comes out of the last criminal, it will splat against a building, destroying all identifying rifle marks. With a good .45-70 carbine and punch bullets, you can begin cleaning up the neighborhood this afternoon. But be aware that pantywaist liberals hate punch bullets almost as much as they hate guns.
Position yourself correctly in the street, and you can get 8 or 9 low riders with one .45-70 punch bullet.
While Greasy Ramon was taking a dump in front of the bank, he got shot in the ass with a .45-70.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 30, 2007
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entitlement

A freebie promised to women, poofters, Mexicans, and guys of color to get them to vote for you. If you win, you tax the pants off all honest, hard working decent people to pay for these entitlements.
Ah wants me some o dem entitlement! Ah's gwine to vote fo Hillary! Yassuh!
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 21, 2005
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IDJ

Giorgio always wears an IDJ to the bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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mooning

The recreational act of baring one's ass in public with the intention of it being seen by people who don't want, or expect, to see it.
We drove to the Presidio to go mooning in front of the Officer's Club. A car full of majors and colonels followed us all the way back to Oakland. Guess they wanted to see some more moons.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 14, 2005
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stick shift

The type of automobile transmission driven by all men (and some women) with two legs and two arms.

Automatic transmissions are for old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.
I'm a man, therefore I drive a stick shift.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
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Mexican heartburn

A hot and firey rash on the keister, caused by eating hot sauce or hot peppers.
After eating a delicious meal at El Pollo Borracho, Margaret got a Mexican heartburn. "It was worth it," she said.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 3, 2005
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