Idol of impressionable computer geeks everywhere.
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
For any pimply, pasty nerd thats too chickenshit to go get the mail outside because the deadly solar rays reflected by the moon will burn their skin like dried straw, they look to the Great Overlord Maddox as their guidance.
According to the teachings of the Great Maddox:
1. All computer nerds love Tabasco Sauce, because subjecting your tastebuds to a food condiment that'll singe the fuck out of your tastebuds is the best way to prove that your too fucking macho for your less macho peers. The testosterone increase from the burning pain will give you the balls you need to log back on IRC chat and give your online opponents a sound verbal thrashing, perhaps causing your nerdy rival to shoot himself in front of his webcam.
2. All computer nerds must routinely beat their women to reaffirm that they are the head of the house, and her main man. Doesn't really apply though, because computer nerds will remain virgins forever.
3. All computer nerds do what they want and feel. If a nerd does not want to go outside to Gold's Gym to do some bench presses or run on the treadmill, they don't have to! If a nerd doesn't want to lose weight, and just keep packing on some more weight from hot pockets, Pocky brand wood sticks, and root beer, he doesn't have to!
Maddox isn't your role model and god. Fucking go outside and do something with your life. If you are any sort of a real man, you should be able to think independently rather than copycatting another loser.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
Or you can just perceive Maddox's Best Page In The Universe as very clever satire of common misconceptions of manliness and machoism.
Maddox basically states that "men":
1. Are always insecure about their sexuality, and hates fags because of that.
2. Do stupid thinks to make people think they're really "men".
3. Engage in random acts of violence from testosterone poisoning.
4. Own an entire harem of expendable wives.
by C Tan October 29, 2007
A bunch of academic quacks who have substantial abilities in faking their exaggerated reasoning abilities, and resent doing "real work" because they consider it "beneath them".
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
1. They question, or do not believe in the existence of God, because being an atheist makes them feel rebellious, distinctive, and "smart".
2. They sponge up much needed financial aid that would have been better invested in technical fields like engineering or medical research.
3. They are no valuable use to society. Their theory about the "Ambitions of Man" will not stop the emerging SuperAIDS epidemic from wiping out those who can't afford the state-of-the-art prescriptions. Same goes for SARS and the bird flu.
4. They congregate at StarBucks because without a adequate shot of caffeine, which is what their blood is mostly composed of, their heart rate would slow down and they will literally "freeze" to death.
Pseudointellectuals believe in God and his Son's birth only during the Christmas season, so they can upgrade their cell phone plans and state their own independence from "mainstream" society by buying overpriced shirts from the Abercrombie captioned "Fuck Bush".
by C Tan March 19, 2006
A high school credit class where you fork over $95 of your parent’s money to be yelled at by a skinny, balding, half-pint, 40-year old Caucasian loser whose only determination is to subdue every helpless senior student in order to redeem his irretrievable dignity. In order to compensate for years of well-deserved torment in his early years, he dangles the prospect of getting behind the wheel of an automobile to keep his pupils pacified.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Never sass at a driver’s ed instructor, remember, that with a switch of a pen, he can taint your criminal record for all eternity, which determines your prospects of successfully getting a job, bank credit, or college opportunities. No matter whatever he eggs you on with, whether it is inconsistent instructions for your homework, or a detraction of points from your driving record, hold it back. An assault charge is not worth sacrificing saving far more than $95 monthly on your insurance bill.
Driver's Ed Teacher: *Snort*, Nyaaah.... now, none of you are doing to make anything of your lives. If you already have a police citation, then you might as well be a ex-con employee slaving away at Wal*Mart because no professional employer with a decent perception of work ethics were to hire you... *snort snort*
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
I creak the table as clutch my belly holding a hard day's ass gas. He swivels his albino head in an instant shaking his scrawny finger at me...
Driver's Ed Teacher: 2 points off!
by C Tan November 15, 2005
Tasty looking things, without a proper definite size, usually they can range from narrow and long, to miniscule and round. This gives me the impression that Cheetos are just made from the dough-runoffs of other snack food brands, so the makers can just make some extra money.
Manager: The immigrant workers have been complaining about constantly scooping off the excess dough from the cutouts of our Doritos brand.
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
CEO: Lets save both them, and me, some time, and money, by allowing the scraps to drop into a deep fryer ingeniously positioned beneath the conveyor belts meant for our less popular lines of snack foods.
Manager: Capital idea! We should call them Cheetos!
CEO: Now go fire all the workers and manual dough handlers!
by C Tan March 05, 2006