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Definitions by Bogrimm

rectal health day 

To stay home from work or school due to the high probability that a torrent of liquid awfulness will be expelled from your bowels involuntarily and without warning.
Even though I took a rectal health day from work, I still had to attend a web conference on my iPhone from the shitter.

brainsplain 

A mental health professional explaining to a patient the reason the patient does the things they do.
I went to the headshrink the other day and he tried to brainsplain to me why I yell so much. Who does he think he is? He don’t know me!
brainsplain by Bogrimm March 11, 2018

tough language 

Profanity-laced, colorful metaphors describing those kinds of people and places. You know the ones.
The President used tough language to describe the people and countries that are keeping America from becoming great again. You know the ones.
tough language by Bogrimm January 17, 2018

Maturkety pants 

Maternity pants, in all their stretchy glory, repurposed for a gut expanding due to Thanksgiving Day overeating rather than pregnancy.
My jeans were making Thanksgiving dinner uncomfortable, so I switched to maturkety pants.
Maturkety pants by Bogrimm November 28, 2017

Trump Clause 

In an employment agreement, this is the part of the legal document that denies you the opportunity to take your grievance to court, and instead forces you to agree to arbitration.
My employer fucked me over royally, but due to the Trump Clause in my employment agreement, I have to be sodomized by an arbitrator instead of taking them to court.
Trump Clause by Bogrimm October 26, 2017

Razorfart 

A fart that exits the body painfully, such that the farter would rather hold it in than expel it.
Due to last night's vigorous session of cowboy buttsex, I have a wicked case of razorfarts.
Razorfart by Bogrimm October 11, 2017

Hadookie 

A real-life special attack achieved by reaching down the back of your pants as you fart to catch the gas in your hands, and then thrusting your palms forward, sending a surge of invisible destructive spirit energy flying towards your opponent.
I knocked my roommate unconscious by focusing my chi through my colon and into my cupped hands, and then into his face accompanied by a cry of "Hadookie!"
Hadookie by Bogrimm June 5, 2017