Bobby the Bug Man's definitions

gasplosion

When you have every sign that your bowels are full beyond capacity and a major shit needs to be taken, but upon parking your ass on the commode and easing the tension on your blowhole, all that comes out is 100psi of fecal flavored gas. No poop. Not even an M&M. Just enough methane to heat an igloo for the winter.

Me: Ah oh, I need to find a toilet immediately!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!

by Bobby the Bug Man February 11, 2022

Sonic Poo

This is an event that occurs when a shit has brewed under the extreme pressure of last night’s streak and you’re now sitting on the commode ready to unload. At this moment, the gas escapes as such a velocity that you no longer have the sphincter strength to stop this hell from escaping. Usually it starts with a quick clap, followed by gigantic explosion that breaks the sound barrier, then ends with a dry-to-wet sputtering that let leads to feces in any state of matter to then rely on gravity to make a splash. It should also be pointed out that the explosion has a specific echo that is purely unique to this event. And, you ALL know what I mean.

I just had the most epic sonic poo of my life. The pressure was immense and I may be deaf now.

by Bobby the Bug Man January 27, 2022

The reveal

When you've taken a large, stinky dump in the office bathroom, finished up, opened the door and presented yourself at the sink and have been identified as the culprit of the most ridiculous aroma imaginable.

Dude, I was blowing up the toilet in the men's bathroom and someone came in and started choking like they needed CPR. When I came out for the reveal, I realized it was our boss!

by Bobby the Bug Man August 1, 2020

struggle plug

When you've been constipated for a few days and sit on the toilet to shit, but are unable to produce a log.

I was sitting on the shitter and things ended with a ghost wipe and a clean flush. That struggle plug almost gave me a stroke!

by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020

Greg's List

Very much like Craig's List, except the shit being sold were stolen from the workplace. Items such as vacuum cleaners.

Where the fuck is the drill?? "Have you checked on Greg's List?" If that piece of shit stole it, I'm going to burn him in his wood-fire pizza oven.

by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020

corporate fellatio

A politically correct workplace word for the act of metaphorically sucking one's boss's dick (or strap-on) or going well out of one's way to get a promotion, raise, day off, ect. that is beyond normal brown-nosing.

Hey man, Terry's in the Director's office performing some corporate fellatio again. Let's see if he wipes off his mouth when he comes out.

by Bobby the Bug Man August 18, 2020

blown surprise

A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab and hung around to bullshit with their friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the non-tipper to tell them the legend of if you blow on one’s asshole, one is unable to shit. With that, the patron calls shenanigans and asks the server/bar tender to prove it. Without hesitation, the server has the cheap bastard lie on their back on the bar/a table/the floor, pulls down her pants to expose her balloon knot, then has the scumbag blow a sweet breeze. Upon the wind hitting the chocolate star, she releases an extrusion of warm soft-served shitty logs onto the mother fucker’s face.

Yo, the other night I hung out with a buddy at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass coworker with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn’t tip the bar tender. He then hung around like Epstein in a jail cell. Eventually the bar tender told him THE legend and as expected, he didn’t believe it and asked her to prove it. So, she gave him the blown surprise and released Thursdays meatloaf all over his face. It was epic!

by Bobby the Bug Man October 5, 2020