Blue Cawdrey's definitions

Five Fingered Widow

Right Hand of a newly married man

So you won't need the five fingered widow on your honeymoon.

by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004

Not Benny

During the Falkland war the English troops nicknamed the members of the local population 'Bennys' after a character from the English soap Crossroads, famous for his wooly hat and limited intelligence.
This was considered politically uncorrect and the solders were ordered to stop and that the population were not Bennys.
Henceforth the Falkland Islanders were refered to by the solders as 'Not Bennys'

Hey, corperal ask that Not Benny the way to Goose Green.

by Blue Cawdrey November 18, 2004

wanking gland

Part of the male body around which a large entertainment industry has grown.
Magazines, DVD's, and a worldwide network of computers called the Internet are dedicated to entertaining it.

I'm just going to the shop to buy a wank mag for my wanking gland.

by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004

Flying without a liscense

Diplomatic way of telling a man that he has neglected to zip up his trousers.

Head waiter: 'Apologetic cough, Excuse me sir do you know that you are flying without a license,
<Thought bubble> ... and that the sight of your scabby dick is upsetting our customers.

by Blue Cawdrey November 21, 2004

tickler

Enhancement to a condom, vibratoror dildo intended to stimulate the clitoris and provide extra pleasure during sex.
Standalone versions are available that strap directly on to the penis.

A.K.A French tickler.

After using the vibrator with the tickler she picked up her old one between thumb and forefinger and with outstretched arm disdainfully dropped it in the bin.

by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004

good for moral it lowers it

UK: Heard in military training camps when explaining to lower ranks why a difficult or unpleasnt task has to be carried out.

Recruit: ...but Sarge, why do we have to crawl through that muddy ditch?

Sergeant: Because its good for moral son, IT LOWERS IT!

by Blue Cawdrey November 28, 2004

Makeover

A current trend in television programs where people are told that they do not match the cultural norm either in the way they look or dress. Using special effects, advanced computer manipulation and spray painting techniques the person is then given the illusion that they look like a film star or can afford to buy top line designer clothes while bringing up two small children on a part time job serving fries.

While showing the person 'before' is common. The post 'make over' victim is not often seen.

She thought the television makeover would change her life, but the next day on looking in the mirror she noticed that her acne, goofy teeth and the huge wart on her nose had somehow mysteriously re-appeared.

by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004