Bart's Mom's definitions

invisible husband

1.The act of a male spouse remaining perfectly still while also averting his face to avoid attracting attention. Sometimes used in response to the question "Do I look fat?"
2.Also a device used by dogs,see "invisible dog"usually with better effect.

"Lee did not want to acknowledge his wife's question,so he went invisible husband to diffuse the situation."
invisible husband invisible dog avoidance spouse conflict avoidance avoidance

by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

psycho hag mom

1.A condition of the female human usually resulting from the repetitive noise,and/or whining,fighting, begging by her offspring.Usually includes displays of snarling,screaming and use of four letter words.
2.A condition that may or may not be hastened by PMS,roughly equivalent to Defcon 1.

"After 3 hours alone in the minivan with her two kids bickering,complaining and 'not touching each other', Bonnie went completely psycho hag mom on them."
"Yes,it is getting close to that time of the month,honey-WHY DO YOU ASK?"
frazzled moms irritating kids minivan PMS defcon one
batshit minivan syndrome

by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

Sheentology

A religion based on the beliefs and practices of Charlie Sheen,circa February 2011.

There is possible foot-licking involved, and frequent mention of goddesses.
Sheentology appeals primarily to men aged 18-42.

"Bro,Charlie Sheen thinks he is a total frickin' rock star from Mars,and that hookers and porn stars are goddesses!
Sheentology is a religion that I could really make a commitment to."

porn stars hookers Charlie Sheen celebrity melt down
tiger blood gum for everyone

by Bart's Mom March 16, 2011

flatlandbilly

1.A person,chiefly white and male,who lives in a rural area where the terrain is flat as opposed to mountainous or hilly, frequently accompanied by a female mate, a floppy baby and a screaming toddler clad only in a diaper. Female is usually notable for the lack of supportive undergarments.
2.A hillbilly without the hills.
Plural:flatlandbillies

"Upon moving to the eastern North Carolina,Andrew observed that the cashier at Walmart appeared to be what can only be described as a flatlandbilly."
yokel cletus hillbilly Walmart wallyworld

by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

Sheentology

A religion based on the beliefs and practices of Charlie Sheen,circa February 2011.

There is possible foot-licking involved, and frequent mention of goddesses.

Sheentology appeals primarily to men aged 18-42.

"Bro,Charlie Sheen thinks he is a total frickin' rock star from Mars,and that hookers and porn stars are goddesses!
Sheentology is a religion that I could really make a commitment to."

porn stars hookers Charlie Sheen celebrity melt down
tiger blood gum for everyone

by Bart's Mom March 14, 2011

bitch larvae

A stage girls enter on the way to adulthood.Usually in the preteen or (ugh) "tween" years, behavior is remarkable for screams,whining,pouting,eye rolling and/or slamming of doors to obtain the object of their desires as dictated by Disney,or Gap,for example.

Every time Gap's irritatingly stupid "Talk to the Moose" commercial comes on TV,I can't change the channel fast enough! Those bitch larvae really piss me off!
tween preteen screeching Hanna Montana Miley Cyrus
larva larvae preadolescence

by Bart's Mom December 15, 2009

subway smashers

Those demure looking Japanese ladies wearing gloves and face masks in the Tokyo subway whose job it is to force as many people as possible into each already over crowded car.

"The Japanese subway is so crowded,and those subway smashers are just brutal!"
Japan Japanese subway smashers little old Japanese ladies ShinjukuShinjuku Station

by Bart's Mom December 20, 2009