Definitions by Bart's Mom

bowl patrol

1.This occurs in homes with two or more dogs as follows:
The dogs are fed,and upon completion of the meal,the dogs each check out the bowl of the other dog.

"As usual,after finishing their own food,Bart and Buddy did the bowl patrol just in case a morsel was left uneaten."

dogs dog food dog behavior Bart pets

bowl patrol by Bart's Mom August 7, 2009

panic pick 

1. A last minute choice from a menu when everyone else at your table has ordered and it's your turn.
2.A choice made out of desperation resulting from the inability to decide.

"I can't decide just yet, I'll panic pick after everyone else orders."
indecision panic choice menu wish-washy

panic pick by Bart's Mom August 6, 2009

flatlandbilly 

1.A person,chiefly white and male,who lives in a rural area where the terrain is flat as opposed to mountainous or hilly, frequently accompanied by a female mate, a floppy baby and a screaming toddler clad only in a diaper. Female is usually notable for the lack of supportive undergarments.
2.A hillbilly without the hills.
Plural:flatlandbillies

"Upon moving to the eastern North Carolina,Andrew observed that the cashier at Walmart appeared to be what can only be described as a flatlandbilly."
yokel cletus hillbilly Walmart wallyworld

flatlandbilly by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

invisible dog 

1.When a dog remains perfectly still while also averting his face to avoid attracting attention. Sometimes used in response to
the question "who ate my shoe?"
2.Can also be used by a person to the similar effect,see "invisible husband"

" Bart's effective use of invisible dog in the photo on petfinder.com got him a new home."

shy dog timid wasn't me silent invisible avoidance

invisible dog by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

invisible husband 

1.The act of a male spouse remaining perfectly still while also averting his face to avoid attracting attention. Sometimes used in response to the question "Do I look fat?"
2.Also a device used by dogs,see "invisible dog"usually with better effect.

"Lee did not want to acknowledge his wife's question,so he went invisible husband to diffuse the situation."
invisible husband invisible dog avoidance spouse conflict avoidance avoidance

invisible husband by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

psycho hag mom 

1.A condition of the female human usually resulting from the repetitive noise,and/or whining,fighting, begging by her offspring.Usually includes displays of snarling,screaming and use of four letter words.
2.A condition that may or may not be hastened by PMS,roughly equivalent to Defcon 1.

"After 3 hours alone in the minivan with her two kids bickering,complaining and 'not touching each other', Bonnie went completely psycho hag mom on them."
"Yes,it is getting close to that time of the month,honey-WHY DO YOU ASK?"
frazzled moms irritating kids minivan PMS defcon one
batshit minivan syndrome

psycho hag mom by Bart's Mom August 5, 2009

fishmeckled 

1.When something is messed up,tangled up, or broken;possibly beyond repair. Can be used as an alternative to "fucked up"; esp. useful if you have small children.
2.The state of mental confusion arising from emotional distress or exhaustion,also a result of the use of cold medicine.

"Why are my Ipod headphones always all fishmeckled?"

"Andrew was feeling fishmeckled after taking Nyquil for his cold."

fucked up messed up tangled up broken trashed fubar beat confused loopy ditzy spaced out medicine head destroyed

fishmeckled by Bart's Mom August 4, 2009