Definitions by Autismo_Manifesto
Cute Grandpa
The male version of cute hag.
A pubescent male whom possesses child-like features (not to be confused with femboys or crossdressers, sissies aren't allowed here). Not as strict as cute hags, because masculinity is a beautiful thing, cute grandpas are only a nice addition to it.
So, what does it take to qualify as a cute grandpa? Here's the list:
🎀Face🎀 ~ Just like cute hags, this is essential. Having a neotenous face is everything.
🎀Hair🎀 ~ Anything that isn't bald, has dreads, an afro and karen hairstyle. As for facial hair and body hair, shave it if you don't have a bara build.
🎀Race🎀 ~ Mostly any race can meet the cute grandpa threshold, asains usually stomp on all of them though.
🎀Body type🎀 ~ Ideally anything that isn't obease. Fit will be favored over the rest. Bara builds can sometimes outdo average fit grandpas, Kevin Kaslana (from hi3rd) for example is the perfect combination of both.
🎀Voice🎀 ~ Voices are the most flexible part, any voice will do as long as it isn't feminine.
🎀Personality🎀 ~ Of course, you can't forget about this. Generally speaking, timid, kind-hearted, introverted and melancholic are the most desired personality traits. Bad ones such as sassy, extroverted, arrogant, mean-spirited and aggressive are desposable. However, there are some exceptions with the bad ones, but it is usually the former that wins.
🎉If you check all the marks on this list then congratulations, you've obtained cute grandpa status!🎉
A pubescent male whom possesses child-like features (not to be confused with femboys or crossdressers, sissies aren't allowed here). Not as strict as cute hags, because masculinity is a beautiful thing, cute grandpas are only a nice addition to it.
So, what does it take to qualify as a cute grandpa? Here's the list:
🎀Face🎀 ~ Just like cute hags, this is essential. Having a neotenous face is everything.
🎀Hair🎀 ~ Anything that isn't bald, has dreads, an afro and karen hairstyle. As for facial hair and body hair, shave it if you don't have a bara build.
🎀Race🎀 ~ Mostly any race can meet the cute grandpa threshold, asains usually stomp on all of them though.
🎀Body type🎀 ~ Ideally anything that isn't obease. Fit will be favored over the rest. Bara builds can sometimes outdo average fit grandpas, Kevin Kaslana (from hi3rd) for example is the perfect combination of both.
🎀Voice🎀 ~ Voices are the most flexible part, any voice will do as long as it isn't feminine.
🎀Personality🎀 ~ Of course, you can't forget about this. Generally speaking, timid, kind-hearted, introverted and melancholic are the most desired personality traits. Bad ones such as sassy, extroverted, arrogant, mean-spirited and aggressive are desposable. However, there are some exceptions with the bad ones, but it is usually the former that wins.
🎉If you check all the marks on this list then congratulations, you've obtained cute grandpa status!🎉
Einstien: I'm sorry, but you completely lost me when you said "masculinity is a beautiful thing" lol. You were being far too harsh on women, and this definition is even more bias than the last one. Also, the fact that you wrote this like you're on Tinder and not on Urban Dictionary has me in tears!
moebarabitch: It's true though, it really is beautiful! Men are objectively better, cute grandpas only double down on that statement. Men (especially bara men) were made for sex, and hags were made to be in the kitchen. "More bias than the last one" Tell me what definition isn't biased on this site, lmfao.
Einstein: You have the worst takes ever. So not only are you a barafag, you're also sexist? Why am I suprised, considering every definition you made? If women weren't made for sex, why do they have vaginas? You know, a sexual organ made for reproduction?
moebarabitch: Good counter-argument, however, did you even bother to take a second at deconstructing my name? Since your reading comprehension is lacking, allow me to do it for you: moe = cute, which I value a lot, (hence the definitions I made) bara = masculine burly men, which I also value a lot, bitch = i'm a bitch (self-explanatiory). I don't hate hags, I just believe in order for hags to unlock their full feminine potential, they must strive to become cute hags. It's a cakewalk for men because as i've already said, and will continue to say until the day I die: masculinity is a beautiful thing.
moebarabitch: It's true though, it really is beautiful! Men are objectively better, cute grandpas only double down on that statement. Men (especially bara men) were made for sex, and hags were made to be in the kitchen. "More bias than the last one" Tell me what definition isn't biased on this site, lmfao.
Einstein: You have the worst takes ever. So not only are you a barafag, you're also sexist? Why am I suprised, considering every definition you made? If women weren't made for sex, why do they have vaginas? You know, a sexual organ made for reproduction?
moebarabitch: Good counter-argument, however, did you even bother to take a second at deconstructing my name? Since your reading comprehension is lacking, allow me to do it for you: moe = cute, which I value a lot, (hence the definitions I made) bara = masculine burly men, which I also value a lot, bitch = i'm a bitch (self-explanatiory). I don't hate hags, I just believe in order for hags to unlock their full feminine potential, they must strive to become cute hags. It's a cakewalk for men because as i've already said, and will continue to say until the day I die: masculinity is a beautiful thing.
Cute Grandpa by Autismo_Manifesto March 20, 2023
Cute Hag
A retelling of the previous definition of cute hag, since it was vague at best.
Cute hags are pubescent females whom possesses child-like features, seemingly tailor-made for pedophiles. These are rare, gifted specimen outside the moe anime world.
So,whatdoesittaketoqualifyasacutehag?Here'sthelist:
🌸Face🌸 ~
Crucialfeature,hagscan'tbecutewithoutthis!Havinganeotenousfaceiseverything.Hugeeyesareideal,Lipsmustbekeptatthebareminimum,alongwithnoredlipstick(makeslipslookbigevenifthey'resmallplusitjustlooksugly.transparantistheonlyvalidlipstick),nosemustbetiny(preferablelythesoutheastasianose)andchinmustbepointy.
🌸Hair🌸~Agoodhairstyleisamust,mohawksforexampledonotmeshwellwithcutehags.Tomboyhagsarenot welcome here.
🌸Race🌸~Usuallyonlyasainsmeetthethresholdtobecomeacutehag,therearesomeexceptionsthough.
🌸Body type🌸~ Veryimportant,thoughprettyflexible.Timido(fromhi3rd),Yuna(fromgransaga)andHanekawa(frommonogatari)aretheperfectexamplesofsemi-fathagsbeingextremelycute,butgenerallyspeaking,thin(beingcurvyisfineaslongasit'snottoomuchmeattherejustlikewestoidmenlike),small-chestedhagsaremostdesired.Asforheight,it'sirrelevantforthemostpartonceyou'reahag.TallhagssuchasKianaKaslana(from hi3rd),ReiAyanami(from evangelion)andAsukaLangleySoryu(from evangelion)areontopofthehagchain.
🌸Voice🌸~Anythingthatisn'tatypicalhagvoiceiswelcome,butachild-likevoiceismostlyprefered.
🎉Ifyoucheckallthemarksonthislistthencongratulations,you'veobtainedcutehagstatus!🎉
Cannot add more due to character limit
Cute hags are pubescent females whom possesses child-like features, seemingly tailor-made for pedophiles. These are rare, gifted specimen outside the moe anime world.
So,whatdoesittaketoqualifyasacutehag?Here'sthelist:
🌸Face🌸 ~
Crucialfeature,hagscan'tbecutewithoutthis!Havinganeotenousfaceiseverything.Hugeeyesareideal,Lipsmustbekeptatthebareminimum,alongwithnoredlipstick(makeslipslookbigevenifthey'resmallplusitjustlooksugly.transparantistheonlyvalidlipstick),nosemustbetiny(preferablelythesoutheastasianose)andchinmustbepointy.
🌸Hair🌸~Agoodhairstyleisamust,mohawksforexampledonotmeshwellwithcutehags.Tomboyhagsarenot welcome here.
🌸Race🌸~Usuallyonlyasainsmeetthethresholdtobecomeacutehag,therearesomeexceptionsthough.
🌸Body type🌸~ Veryimportant,thoughprettyflexible.Timido(fromhi3rd),Yuna(fromgransaga)andHanekawa(frommonogatari)aretheperfectexamplesofsemi-fathagsbeingextremelycute,butgenerallyspeaking,thin(beingcurvyisfineaslongasit'snottoomuchmeattherejustlikewestoidmenlike),small-chestedhagsaremostdesired.Asforheight,it'sirrelevantforthemostpartonceyou'reahag.TallhagssuchasKianaKaslana(from hi3rd),ReiAyanami(from evangelion)andAsukaLangleySoryu(from evangelion)areontopofthehagchain.
🌸Voice🌸~Anythingthatisn'tatypicalhagvoiceiswelcome,butachild-likevoiceismostlyprefered.
🎉Ifyoucheckallthemarksonthislistthencongratulations,you'veobtainedcutehagstatus!🎉
Cannot add more due to character limit
Unsound: This is the most ridiculous definition i've seen on this site, maybe even period. Why can't they just be called cute instead of it being overly convoluted?
Da Wei: Ironically, this is the dumbest thing i've read. Cute is vastly different from being a cute hag, conflating the two will only leave people confused, and if you think it's "convoluted" maybe that's a sign you're conversing with the wrong community. I want cute hags to be recognized because practically nobody knows they're called that or even exist, and what better site could do that than Urban Dictionary, where you're allowed to publish unique definitions?
Unsound: "Wrong community" Don't tell me... is it exactly what I suspect it is?
Da Wei: The moe/lolisho/pedophile community, what else did you think it was? You're just now asking what it means? Did you even read the entire definition?
Unsound: !
Da Wei: Did I stutter?
Unsound: Stay away from children! If you layed a single finger on my daughter your body would never be found!!
Da Wei: You needn't worry, i'm an anti-contact cuck, meaning I have no interest in pursuing a child. Even if I was pro-contact i'd vomit at the thought of being attracted to your bloodline.
Unsound: The fact that you're attracted to children is enough of a reason to justifiably kill you with no remorse!!!
Cannot add more due to character limit
Da Wei: Ironically, this is the dumbest thing i've read. Cute is vastly different from being a cute hag, conflating the two will only leave people confused, and if you think it's "convoluted" maybe that's a sign you're conversing with the wrong community. I want cute hags to be recognized because practically nobody knows they're called that or even exist, and what better site could do that than Urban Dictionary, where you're allowed to publish unique definitions?
Unsound: "Wrong community" Don't tell me... is it exactly what I suspect it is?
Da Wei: The moe/lolisho/pedophile community, what else did you think it was? You're just now asking what it means? Did you even read the entire definition?
Unsound: !
Da Wei: Did I stutter?
Unsound: Stay away from children! If you layed a single finger on my daughter your body would never be found!!
Da Wei: You needn't worry, i'm an anti-contact cuck, meaning I have no interest in pursuing a child. Even if I was pro-contact i'd vomit at the thought of being attracted to your bloodline.
Unsound: The fact that you're attracted to children is enough of a reason to justifiably kill you with no remorse!!!
Cannot add more due to character limit
Cute Hag by Autismo_Manifesto March 19, 2023
Hag Chain
Food chain parody, but instead of brutally killing and eating eachother, the cuter hag dominates the other one in terms of cuteness level.
Warz: Haruhi Suzumiya is easily the cutest hag ever, I will die on this hill!
Wong: You have shit taste in cute hags lmao. It's Yuki Nagato who's at the top of the hag chain, not some annoying bitch with a huge ass eye gap.
Wong: You have shit taste in cute hags lmao. It's Yuki Nagato who's at the top of the hag chain, not some annoying bitch with a huge ass eye gap.
Hag Chain by Autismo_Manifesto March 18, 2023
Tasteful Hag
Woman who doesn't wear loud make-up, skimpy clothing, is calm, collective and is knowledgeable.
She knows she'll never be a cute hag and adknowledges it. All in all, a respectable woman.
She knows she'll never be a cute hag and adknowledges it. All in all, a respectable woman.
Elysia: *sigh*
Adam: ...What's wrong?
Elysia: Oh, it's nothing.
Adam: Then why did you sigh? Clearly something is wrong.
Elysia: The truth is... i'm saddened by the fact that i'll never be a cute hag.
Adam: Ah, I see now. Don't be sad, I personally think you're a tasteful hag（＾ω＾）
Elysia: You.. you really think so? (´ • ᵕ • `)
Adam: Of course I do, you check all the marks of a tasteful hag!
Elysia: Oh, you're so kind, Adam! (≧◡≦)
Adam: Want a hug? ლ (╹◡╹ლ)
Elysia: YES!! (´ • ω • `)
Adam: ...What's wrong?
Elysia: Oh, it's nothing.
Adam: Then why did you sigh? Clearly something is wrong.
Elysia: The truth is... i'm saddened by the fact that i'll never be a cute hag.
Adam: Ah, I see now. Don't be sad, I personally think you're a tasteful hag（＾ω＾）
Elysia: You.. you really think so? (´ • ᵕ • `)
Adam: Of course I do, you check all the marks of a tasteful hag!
Elysia: Oh, you're so kind, Adam! (≧◡≦)
Adam: Want a hug? ლ (╹◡╹ლ)
Elysia: YES!! (´ • ω • `)
Tasteful Hag by Autismo_Manifesto March 18, 2023
Haglover
Anyone who thinks teens are sexy are haglovers, and anyone saying they aren't cause they're "children" are lying to themselves. Contrary to popular belief, teens are hags. Mentally, sure, you could argue many of them are immature, but that doesn't take away the fact that they have adult bodies.
Argumente: Can you believe these people? They think it's perfectly fine to be attracted to a 15 year old child!
Ratio: "15 year old child" is such an oxymoron. You're yet another one of those tards who can't correctly define something.
Argumente: B-But... muh brain development!!!
Ratio: Brain development is irrelevant once you find out teens can have jobs and babysit, something actual children can't do. Just take the L, if an adult is attracted to female teens (aka young adults) they are in fact haglovers.
Ratio: "15 year old child" is such an oxymoron. You're yet another one of those tards who can't correctly define something.
Argumente: B-But... muh brain development!!!
Ratio: Brain development is irrelevant once you find out teens can have jobs and babysit, something actual children can't do. Just take the L, if an adult is attracted to female teens (aka young adults) they are in fact haglovers.
Haglover by Autismo_Manifesto March 17, 2023
Uggo hag
What is seen as a conventionally attractive female for most men.
Essentially a reiteration of Uggo hag face, but the entire female body (body type, hair, feet, etc.)
Essentially a reiteration of Uggo hag face, but the entire female body (body type, hair, feet, etc.)
Model: *posts a professionally photographed pic on instagram*
Based comment: If this is what a majority of men find "attractive" then i'm doomed. Cute hags are almost none-existant while uggo hags are as common as flies, smh.
Based comment: If this is what a majority of men find "attractive" then i'm doomed. Cute hags are almost none-existant while uggo hags are as common as flies, smh.
Uggo hag by Autismo_Manifesto March 11, 2023
Uggo hag face
What the average teliophile man is attracted to. Overdone make-up, pepe lips, thick eyebrows, noticeably wrinkled face, etc.
To sum it up, not cute at all.
To sum it up, not cute at all.
Woman: Would you rather have a ps5 or have me? ;)
Gigachad: I'd take the ps5 anyday, I can barely even look at you straight with that uggo hag face! 🤢
Gigachad: I'd take the ps5 anyday, I can barely even look at you straight with that uggo hag face! 🤢
Uggo hag face by Autismo_Manifesto March 11, 2023