hetero gay enthusiast

A heterosexual male who is an excitable participant in all things pertaining to the stereotypical gay lifestyle other the physical act of fucking blokes.

Big Dog: ‘Babs, darling, shall we catch another show tonight? I heard that ‘Magic Mike’ is playing at the Palladium and it’s a spectacularly raunchy man-fest’
Babs: ‘Sounds good, Big Dog, just give me a sec to get the butt plug in and I’ll be ready’
Big Dog: ‘You fucking what, Babs?? We’re supposed to be hetero gay enthusiasts- it doesn’t work if you go full poofter on me, you queer cunt. Actually, here- take your feather boa and tank top back- Big Diz ain’t got no time for closeted shirt-lifters.’

by Anonymous submissions September 12, 2024

Epping carnage poo

The official name for the London party borough of Epping, so named because the nightlife there is so wild that even the most reluctant of participants will inevitably lose their shit as the night progresses

'Jesus Christ almighty, what the fuck happened last night? Looks like the Epping carnage poo struck again because I've not only got memory loss but I also appear to have shat the bed. I say shat but it could be Nutella. (sniffs brown stain in question). Nope, it's definitely shit.'

by Anonymous submissions December 22, 2016

masdisturbing

To use a truly disturbing image as wank fodder.

I was at my uncle's funeral yesterday and seeing him there lying cold and expressionless in an open casket brought a tear to my eye. Granted the tear was the end product of some vigorous masdisturbing but that's beside the point. I have to say that it was nice of the Priest to let me finish up before starting the service, although watching him deliver the sermon with my tadpoles still hanging from his gnashers was slightly off-putting.

by Anonymous submissions February 09, 2017