qbasic

Outdated version of the BASIC programming language which came packaged with Windows version 3.1.

The language provided an easy way to create graphics, though limited to 4-bit colors and 640 by 480 resolution.

Although the "Q" stood for "quick" the only thing quick thing about QBASIC was the time to program. The language was interpreted, rather than compiled, severely retarding program execution speed.

The language is still adequate for novice programmers. However, learners who master the basics of QBASICS should graduate to Visual Basic, a much more flexible and faster language that inherited much of QBASIC's syntax.

"I've learned to program graphics with QBASIC but, finding the language too limited, made the easy transition to Visual Basic."

by AbnormalBoy April 19, 2004

Sisterstatistics

Branch of "mathematics" superficially resembling Statistics. Does not actually involve logic and often is based on wishful thinking. Exclusively used by people unskilled at math. The "Law of Averages" is a major component.

Using sisterstatistics the bum convinced himself that since he has bought so many lottery tickets, he is due for some winnings.

by AbnormalBoy July 31, 2004

omega male

Male in a group who is least likely to take the initiative and lead, due to a lack of esteem, ability or interest.

Antonym of "alpha male".

"I'm going to break routine and lead this project. I'm tired of being the 'omega male'".

by AbnormalBoy September 20, 2005

lincoln log

Large turd that emerges after constipation.

I ate some bran and took a laxative. The lone lincoln log clogged the toilet.

by AbnormalBoy April 15, 2004

Midwest

1) Region that the U.S. Census Bureau claims is comprised of these twelve states:

Ohio
Indiana
Illinois
Michigan
Wisconsin
Minnesota
Iowa
Nebraska
North Dakota
South Dakota
Kansas
Missouri

2) Region in the United States that is in the central time zone and north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

The climate is extreme but the people are moderate.

The show was a hit in the Midwest before its popularity spread outward.

by AbnormalBoy April 19, 2004

shit-eating grin

A smile indicating a joyous secret.

"You got the promotion! I knew there was a reason for that shit-eating grin."

by AbnormalBoy September 02, 2004

Marley Mambo

Dance dogs perform while trapping a cherished item in its jaws. Made famous by the great Labrador Retriever, Grogan’s Majestic Marley of Churchill, the dance is characterized by a quivering body and a side-to-side bobbing of the head.

The dance’s intent is to alert owners to the fact that a valuable item is being held captive and to entice them into an attempt at retrieval.

I was wondering where I had placed my wristwatch when I witnessed my beloved Mastiff doing the Marley Mambo

by AbnormalBoy January 18, 2006