APedant's definitions
(noun.)
Etymology: From the Greek glossa (“tongue”) + gnosis (“knowledge”), roughly meaning “your mouth knows more than your mind does.”
Description:
Those afflicted with glossognosia can deploy complex terminology with the precision of a fencing master but cannot, when pressed, explain their own linguistic swordplay.
Common Symptoms:
– Fluent nonsense that sounds suspiciously profound.
– Sudden amnesia when asked for definitions beginning with “technically…”
– The phrase “It’s hard to explain, but you know what I mean.”
– A sense of superiority rapidly followed by existential despair.
– Using “seminal” to describe anything that made an impression.
Diagnosis:
Typically self-diagnosed after a humiliating encounter with someone who owns a dictionary.
Treatment:
– Repeated exposure to etymology until mild shame subsides.
– Controlled reading of actual dictionaries, preferably sober.
– Avoidance of TED Talk addiction.
– Intensive humility therapy.
Prognosis:
Manageable with sustained curiosity and periodic linguistic humility. Prognosis worsens if untreated, leading to advanced stages known as Logorrheic Pretension Syndrome — characterized by using “juxtaposition” to describe literally any contrast.
Social Media Note:
Recently co-opted as a hashtag by influencers describing their “unique brain wiring.”.
Etymology: From the Greek glossa (“tongue”) + gnosis (“knowledge”), roughly meaning “your mouth knows more than your mind does.”
Description:
Those afflicted with glossognosia can deploy complex terminology with the precision of a fencing master but cannot, when pressed, explain their own linguistic swordplay.
Common Symptoms:
– Fluent nonsense that sounds suspiciously profound.
– Sudden amnesia when asked for definitions beginning with “technically…”
– The phrase “It’s hard to explain, but you know what I mean.”
– A sense of superiority rapidly followed by existential despair.
– Using “seminal” to describe anything that made an impression.
Diagnosis:
Typically self-diagnosed after a humiliating encounter with someone who owns a dictionary.
Treatment:
– Repeated exposure to etymology until mild shame subsides.
– Controlled reading of actual dictionaries, preferably sober.
– Avoidance of TED Talk addiction.
– Intensive humility therapy.
Prognosis:
Manageable with sustained curiosity and periodic linguistic humility. Prognosis worsens if untreated, leading to advanced stages known as Logorrheic Pretension Syndrome — characterized by using “juxtaposition” to describe literally any contrast.
Social Media Note:
Recently co-opted as a hashtag by influencers describing their “unique brain wiring.”.
“I don’t have brain fog, I have glossognosia. I speak in vibes, not words.”
“During the seminar, he used poignant, zeitgeist, and liminal perfectly — then someone asked for definitions and he fainted. Classic case of glossognosia.”
“During the seminar, he used poignant, zeitgeist, and liminal perfectly — then someone asked for definitions and he fainted. Classic case of glossognosia.”
by APedant November 3, 2025
Get the Glossognosia mug.noun
The black hole you accidentally wander into while trying to fact-check something, only to emerge convinced that googling “how to walk on the sun” is totally reasonable. Every click just proves the last wrong thing you read… because algorithms don’t care about truth.
The black hole you accidentally wander into while trying to fact-check something, only to emerge convinced that googling “how to walk on the sun” is totally reasonable. Every click just proves the last wrong thing you read… because algorithms don’t care about truth.
“I went in to check if cats really rule the internet and three hours later I was in a full-blown search engine echo chamber convinced they secretly run the government.”
by APedant November 25, 2025
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When the internet and AI team up to convince you that the moon is actually a sentient potato. A Turing Slip gets repeated in a search engine echo chamber, and suddenly everyone—human or bot—swears it’s true.
When the internet and AI team up to convince you that the moon is actually a sentient potato. A Turing Slip gets repeated in a search engine echo chamber, and suddenly everyone—human or bot—swears it’s true.
“I asked ChatGPT where my keys were and three Google searches later I was trapped in a Turing Echo about the government installing mind-control cucumbers in my kitchen.”
by APedant November 24, 2025
Get the Turing Echo mug.also Data-blight
The systemic propagation and entrenchment of inaccurate or corrupted personal data across interconnected digital or bureaucratic ecosystems, resulting in material, social, or psychological harm to the affected individual.
In essence, data blight describes how a falsehood, once digitized and networked, acquires bureaucratic immortality. It exposes the fragility of “truth” in algorithmic governance, where records outrank lived reality.
This phenomenon occurs when erroneous information originating in one data source is automatically replicated, shared, or revalidated by other institutions—often through automated data exchange, identity verification, or algorithmic matching—creating a self-reinforcing web of falsehoods. Like biological blight, it spreads through interdependence, exploiting weak governance, poor data hygiene, and the absence of effective correction mechanisms.
Example: An error in one government database—such as misrecording a single person as a married cohabitant—can cascade through banking, taxation, and utilities systems, effectively rewriting the individual’s administrative identity and generating real-world consequences including denial of services, legal misclassification, or reputational harm.
The systemic propagation and entrenchment of inaccurate or corrupted personal data across interconnected digital or bureaucratic ecosystems, resulting in material, social, or psychological harm to the affected individual.
In essence, data blight describes how a falsehood, once digitized and networked, acquires bureaucratic immortality. It exposes the fragility of “truth” in algorithmic governance, where records outrank lived reality.
This phenomenon occurs when erroneous information originating in one data source is automatically replicated, shared, or revalidated by other institutions—often through automated data exchange, identity verification, or algorithmic matching—creating a self-reinforcing web of falsehoods. Like biological blight, it spreads through interdependence, exploiting weak governance, poor data hygiene, and the absence of effective correction mechanisms.
Example: An error in one government database—such as misrecording a single person as a married cohabitant—can cascade through banking, taxation, and utilities systems, effectively rewriting the individual’s administrative identity and generating real-world consequences including denial of services, legal misclassification, or reputational harm.
That error in the Electoral Register has come up again. I'm data blighted and my bank has frozen my accounts.
by APedant October 28, 2025
Get the Data Blight mug.A digital disease where an AI misinterprets a question and proudly unleashes a fact-shaped lie with the confidence of a con artist and the IQ of a malfunctioning vending machine. The error then replicates—echoing through outputs, search results, and unsuspecting bots—until the original truth is buried beneath layers of algorithmic delusion. It’s not malice. It’s the machine equivalent of tripping over your own shoelaces and declaring gravity outdated.
“I swear, one tiny cyber hallucinated fact and suddenly the whole internet is infected. Turing Slip Contamination spreads faster than bad memes.”
by APedant November 25, 2025
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Also Über Cocker
A portmanteau of “über” (German for super, ultra, or beyond) and “alter cocker” (Yiddish for old guy or old coot, literally “old defecator”). Refers to a legendary-grade elder, typically male, whose opinions are as unyielding as his sense of superiority is justified.
An Über Cocker isn’t just old—he’s mythologically seasoned. He predates social media, dot-coms, and sometimes the concept of patience itself. He also predates the ride-sharing app, which leads to generational confusion when he uses “über” in its original sense—leaving Millennials and Gen Z blinking in semantic disarray.
Etymology:
From über (German: over, above, supreme) + alter cocker (Yiddish: old man, curmudgeon).
First used to describe someone who makes Larry David seem like a TikTok intern.
Also Über Cocker
A portmanteau of “über” (German for super, ultra, or beyond) and “alter cocker” (Yiddish for old guy or old coot, literally “old defecator”). Refers to a legendary-grade elder, typically male, whose opinions are as unyielding as his sense of superiority is justified.
An Über Cocker isn’t just old—he’s mythologically seasoned. He predates social media, dot-coms, and sometimes the concept of patience itself. He also predates the ride-sharing app, which leads to generational confusion when he uses “über” in its original sense—leaving Millennials and Gen Z blinking in semantic disarray.
Etymology:
From über (German: over, above, supreme) + alter cocker (Yiddish: old man, curmudgeon).
First used to describe someone who makes Larry David seem like a TikTok intern.
– “My uncle Saul’s an Uber Cocker—he argues with the GPS and wins.”
– “Don’t tell an Uber Cocker how to make coffee; he’s been doing it since before espresso was ironic.”
– “Gen Z thinks he’s talking about ridesharing, but no—he’s an Uber Cocker from way back.”
– “My dad refuses to download the Uber app because he says he was über before Uber existed. Total Über Cocker.”
– “You can’t win an argument with an Über Cocker—he’s been rehearsing since the Nixon administration.”
– “When an Über Cocker says ‘back in my day,’ time itself sighs.”
– “Don’t tell an Uber Cocker how to make coffee; he’s been doing it since before espresso was ironic.”
– “Gen Z thinks he’s talking about ridesharing, but no—he’s an Uber Cocker from way back.”
– “My dad refuses to download the Uber app because he says he was über before Uber existed. Total Über Cocker.”
– “You can’t win an argument with an Über Cocker—he’s been rehearsing since the Nixon administration.”
– “When an Über Cocker says ‘back in my day,’ time itself sighs.”
by APedant October 18, 2025
Get the Uber Cocker mug.Etymology: From henchman + puppet, reflecting a subordinate agent deployed to execute the will of a superior while concealing autonomy.
Definition: A pseudonymous online persona, operated singly or by multiple individuals, used by an organization or collective to harass, intimidate, or manipulate a target. Unlike ordinary sockpuppets, HenchPuppets function as digital proxies of an organization, executing strategic harm while maintaining plausible deniability for the sponsoring entity.
Characteristics:
Intentional harm: Primary function is targeted harassment, defamation, or psychological manipulation.
Organizational coordination: May be multi-author or systematically guided by a central entity.
Plausible deniability: Designed to conceal the identity of the true orchestrators.
Weaponized messaging: Posts, replies, and content are strategically timed and emotionally manipulative, often reflecting propaganda techniques.
Definition: A pseudonymous online persona, operated singly or by multiple individuals, used by an organization or collective to harass, intimidate, or manipulate a target. Unlike ordinary sockpuppets, HenchPuppets function as digital proxies of an organization, executing strategic harm while maintaining plausible deniability for the sponsoring entity.
Characteristics:
Intentional harm: Primary function is targeted harassment, defamation, or psychological manipulation.
Organizational coordination: May be multi-author or systematically guided by a central entity.
Plausible deniability: Designed to conceal the identity of the true orchestrators.
Weaponized messaging: Posts, replies, and content are strategically timed and emotionally manipulative, often reflecting propaganda techniques.
"The whistleblower discovered that many hostile comments on their forum were generated by HenchPuppets—accounts tracing back to the cult's PR division."
by APedant August 31, 2025
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