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Definitions by AKACroatalin

Daisy is small and soft and very pretty. She is quite shy and finds it difficult to trust people, but this is gradually improving. She loves her food and is quite forward about asking for a meal and when she eats her table manners are not the best. She is very talkative, but is sometimes difficult to understand. She is not an intellectual, but sometimes exhibits some quite amazing insights. She hasn’t had the easiest of lives and this worries her sometimes as she thinks bad things may happen to her again. She loves to play and is very energetic, but she also loves to sleep and will spend hours drowsing with her eyes half-closed.
We got her from an animal rescue organisation, she’s a tortie-white cat and her name is Daisy.
Daisy by AKACroatalin April 26, 2015

Did you know 

Although phrased as the start of a question, it is actually an introduction from somebody who wants to impart information. It’s used quite a lot by some teachers but it usually comes from somebody who wants bore your arse off telling you things you don’t need to know, don’t want o know and which are less interesting than the sex lives of Venusian bacteria. It’s usually impossible to get away without committing murder unless you can comeback with something that stops them in their tracks and allows you to escape.
Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of “Happy Christmas” you get “Crappy Shitmash”?
Yes, and if you rearrange “Merry Christmas” you get “Mr Mrs Itchyarse”.
Did you know by AKACroatalin April 24, 2015

Self-aggrandising 

Self-aggrandising is what people who have got fuck-all going for them do. It means boasting about yourself and your abilities, telling everyone how wonderful you are, broadcasting copious quantities of bullshit thickly overlaid with FIGJAM. Normal people exposed to the effects of some self-aggrandising nonentity usually experience attacks of acute nausea followed by the need to get as far away as possible from the source irritation.
Malcolm you are a self-aggrandising WOFS with the mental capacity of a demented amoeba.

Unfit For Purpose 

This expression originated with the Royal Navy where stores or equipment were found to be damaged, wouldn’t work or could not be used for the purpose for which they were intended. The expression quickly found wider usage and is now applied to not just stores and equipment, but to organisations, designs even concepts. It can also be applied to co-workers if they are not doing their job properly and, in extreme cases, used as a put down where someone is a complete arsehole and unsuitable to be considered part of the human race.

Dorkelfie 

Literally a selfie taken by someone who is a dork. The ultimate destination for these pictures is social media and the people who take them are usually insecure, self-obsessed, self-aggrandising sad acts with no real friends. Oh dear! I think I may just have described a significant proportion of Facebook users.
From one perspective, any selfie is a dorkelfie.
Dorkelfie by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015
To release gas through the penis. WARNING – This may indicate a potentially life threatening medical condition. A person suffering from this may have a fistula, you can read up on this on the internet, but this case it means that there is a hole between the prostate and rectum. You must get treatment for this, see your doctor. If there is any faecal discharge go to A & E or the Emergency Room at your nearest hospital immediately do put this off about your life may be in danger.
Charlie used to kweef a lot and ended up in hospital on life support because he didn’t have the sense to see his doctor.
Kweef by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015

Magniloquence 

Magniloquence means the use of grand or powerful language, something politicians try to do but invariably make a complete cock up of it. The word comes from the Latin “magnus” (great) and “loquus” (speaking).
Don’t try for magniloquence, make your points clear and logical using simple language.
Magniloquence by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015