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Definitions by Uncle Dimma

choose between the devil and the deep blue sea 

(verb): to choose between two alternative options, but none of which suit your immediate purposes in life or none of whose consequences are very pleasant for you, at least atm
mother: Daniel I found out yesterday you are doing pot. I won't stand for it to have a marijuana smoker and high school drop out in my house. Now choose between the devil and the deep blue sea. Either you go to night class to make something out of yourself or you can move the hell out of my house onto welfare. Your choice; now the ball is in your half court

Daniel: whenever I have chosen my path, I'll come and talk to you.

brew your own vegetable soup 

an informal nicer phrase for telling people to learn to do something on their own, rather than wait for someone to do it for them their entire lives.
(after father stops speaking on the phone)

son: Dad, please tie my shoe-laces for me?

father: well, if you haven't learnt en temps et lieux utiles how to tie your shoe-laces, now would be a good enough time for you to learn. Right now, just shove off, and brew your own vegetable soup. I refuse to tie your shoes for you for the rest of your life.

son (shrugging): oh well, At least, i have manners,I dind't lol interrupt my dad while he was on the phone. And I said 'please'

walls have eyes and ears

an expression meaning

even if you want to keep something a secret, someone, somehow, somewhere, will eventually find out.
son: dad, what does the expression" walls have eyes and ears" mean?

father: it means, lol, even if you talk to yourself, others, may, and will get useful, useful to themselves I mean, information out of you short-handed, which means you can't keep a secret if you talk to yourself. you therefore have The Right to Remain Silent.

salt chunk 

a slang term in Atlantic Canada, for the Atlantic Ocean.
British person in Canada: How are you doing here in the Colonies, ladies and gentlemen? i came from across the Pond.

Canadian, upon hearing this: wow! Do you really hail from across the salt chunk? I'd like to go visit the colonial metropolis some day. Never been to Great Britain.
salt chunk by Uncle Dimma October 12, 2012

to pay your bills on time 

to do things right/correctly/the way they are supposed to be done/ on time the first time round, so as to avoid either having to waste more energy, time, money and/or effort redoing the same job twice.
Father: listen, Carl. If I'd be your teacher, I would have reacted the exact same way. Just look at your penmanship. Ça laisse à désirer. I can't even , lol, call it handwriting, it would probably, immb qualify as turkey-chicken scrawl. Now the moral of the fable is of course to pay your bills on time. Now, take this travail bâclé afaap out of my sight and rewrite your homework.
an acronym for "long out of line", this is new, cool term is used to describe something that is so antiquated and outdated that it literally belongs at The Natural History Museum on New York City.
boy 1): What do I do, my cell is out of juice, do you have any suggestions?

boy 2) lol (laughing out loud). you can always use a public payphone.

boy 1) um. hell no. as if they still work. IMHO they are so bloody lool and belong in a museum. If you'd be so kind as to agree, I can always borrow your cell phone to call my parents.
lool by Uncle Dimma October 6, 2012

short-handed 

one of two things:

a) in hockey, a situation where your team is down a man because one your players is in the penalty box

b) a phrase meaning without any particular effort
person 1) Can Sidney Crosby score a short-handed goal after his injury of January 2011?

person 2): IMHO Sidney Crosby will do so not only short-handed, but also blindfolded at the same time.
short-handed by Uncle Dimma October 5, 2012