A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 07, 2025
The nekkade is a decade performed in the nude. This is a freestyle bike trick invented by hecKtor Dangus during the summer of 2009.
For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.
Do it for the lulz.
For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.
Do it for the lulz.
Cops to Dangus : "That nekkade was truly incredible, but we're going to have to ask you to put some pants on, sir."
Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 24, 2009
An alternate term for baby wipes or wet wipes. While they are most commonly associated with diaper-changing, whores' handkerchiefs are also regularly employed by sex professionals (as well as non-pros) of either gender to facilitate a cleansing of the undercarriage prior to engaging in some form of snugglelingus. While very useful in cold weather when it's too chilly to take a shower; whores' handkerchiefs are also a favorite of nasty-ass lazy folks, people on camping trips and water conservationists alike. WH's can also can serve as a fancy substitute for toilet tissue.
female to Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney: "My love, I fear that your washrooms' supply of shit tickets has been fully depleted."
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. December 28, 2011
The state of being a dicktard, which is a half retard/half dick. Dicktardation most commonly occurs among the species known as homo sapiens. See also: fucktardation.
How is it possible for these insane arguments for drug prohibition to continue in our supposedly advanced culture? Isn't it time to recognize that the so-called 'war on drugs' cannot be 'won', and merely persists because of its enormously consistent profitability? History has shown us that the only way to reduce the potential for harm in prohibited drugs is to legalize, educate and regulate.
Unfortunately, due to massive dicktardation on the part of the politicians, judges and police who create and enforce these puritanical prohibition laws, rampant gang violence and the senseless incarceration of non-violent 'offenders' will continue on endlessly.
Unfortunately, due to massive dicktardation on the part of the politicians, judges and police who create and enforce these puritanical prohibition laws, rampant gang violence and the senseless incarceration of non-violent 'offenders' will continue on endlessly.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 12, 2010
Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 04, 2008
a mindset which tends to despoil the moral integrity of women who engage in ass-shaking on a professional basis for an extended period.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
Over time, exposure to the shake joint environment has a tendency to exacerbate latent neuroses in females, particularly those which negatively affect their interpersonal relationships with males. Primary indicators of stripper mentality include emotional disassociation, narcissism and drug addiction.
As the stripper mentality takes hold of their personalities, these women come to view men as mark-ass tricks, trick-ass marks, and straight up sucker motherfuckers of whom they might take advantage. The pleasure they derive from sexual relations is often diminished, as the female instead comes to view sex - or more often, the promise of sex - as a means to an end, with the ends most commonly being acquisition of currency, material goods, illicit psychoactive substances, or some combination thereof.
My girlfriend just started stripping and she's making great money, but I'm worried that she might eventually fall prey to the stripper mentality. I've already closed our joint bank account just to be safe.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. March 14, 2012