spishank
spishank by Turd Fergison May 14, 2005
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Spishak
The fake company invented by the writers of MAD tv to represent and parody those cheap infomercials and paid programming programmes you see on TV way late at night/really early in the morning that try to pass off unrealisticly cheap and unreliable products as good, safe, and quality products that are just too good to be in stores
Spishak commercials usually have:
-A repetitive jingle that cues once the Spishak guy appears
-Someone seriously maimed and bloodied up at the end
-Bad acting and saying things that make no sense
-A couple worried about an issue irrelevant to the commercial
-Pat Kilbane (or whoever the Spishak Guy is in the sketch) jumps out of nowhere claiming he can fix their problems
-The married couple claims "Spishak Man has saved our marriage!"
Spishak has created a plethora of stupid products, including:
Spishak Snoorpk
Spishak Mach 20 Razor
Spishak Hey It's Ovens For Kids Easy Bake Oven
Spishak Excuses Excuses Excuses Excuses '98
Spishak Bug Zapper Only The Bugs Are Deers Instead
Spishak commercials usually have:
-A repetitive jingle that cues once the Spishak guy appears
-Someone seriously maimed and bloodied up at the end
-Bad acting and saying things that make no sense
-A couple worried about an issue irrelevant to the commercial
-Pat Kilbane (or whoever the Spishak Guy is in the sketch) jumps out of nowhere claiming he can fix their problems
-The married couple claims "Spishak Man has saved our marriage!"
Spishak has created a plethora of stupid products, including:
Spishak Snoorpk
Spishak Mach 20 Razor
Spishak Hey It's Ovens For Kids Easy Bake Oven
Spishak Excuses Excuses Excuses Excuses '98
Spishak Bug Zapper Only The Bugs Are Deers Instead
Spishak Announcer: Has this ever happened to you?
David Herman as "Troubled Man": (Throws water on car) AHHh!
Spishak Announcer: No need to worry with new Spishwax carwax from Spishak! Spishwax is based on a highly scientific principal. Too difficult to understand but easy to a apply!
Troubled Man: (Throws water on car)
Spishak Announcer: See how the water beads? That's Spishawax protecting your car from water damage! Unforutnately Spishwax won't protect your car from:
Paint, Tar, Feathers, Guano, Shampoo, Conditioner, Wood Stain, Mahogany Wood Stain (Troubled Man just throws a can of wood stain at the car really hard), Eggs, Scrambled Eggs, Easter Eggs, Easter Rocks, Baseball Bats, Bowling Balls, Chum, Potted Plants, Jewish Weddings, Cat Litter, Neighborhood Kids, Chicken and Dumplings, Christmas Decorations, Cinder Blocks, Sledgwhammers, Sandwiches, Did we mention Baseball Bats?, Boat Anchors, And Wrecking Balls!
Spishak Announcer: So when you think of carwax...
Troubled Man: ...Spishak Spishwax from Spishak! The catalog says-
Angry Car Owner: HEY!!! WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY CAR!? HEY!!! (Chases Troubled Man)
Spishak Announcer: Spishak Spishwax, Remember: "It's just wax."
David Herman as "Troubled Man": (Throws water on car) AHHh!
Spishak Announcer: No need to worry with new Spishwax carwax from Spishak! Spishwax is based on a highly scientific principal. Too difficult to understand but easy to a apply!
Troubled Man: (Throws water on car)
Spishak Announcer: See how the water beads? That's Spishawax protecting your car from water damage! Unforutnately Spishwax won't protect your car from:
Paint, Tar, Feathers, Guano, Shampoo, Conditioner, Wood Stain, Mahogany Wood Stain (Troubled Man just throws a can of wood stain at the car really hard), Eggs, Scrambled Eggs, Easter Eggs, Easter Rocks, Baseball Bats, Bowling Balls, Chum, Potted Plants, Jewish Weddings, Cat Litter, Neighborhood Kids, Chicken and Dumplings, Christmas Decorations, Cinder Blocks, Sledgwhammers, Sandwiches, Did we mention Baseball Bats?, Boat Anchors, And Wrecking Balls!
Spishak Announcer: So when you think of carwax...
Troubled Man: ...Spishak Spishwax from Spishak! The catalog says-
Angry Car Owner: HEY!!! WHAT’D YOU DO TO MY CAR!? HEY!!! (Chases Troubled Man)
Spishak Announcer: Spishak Spishwax, Remember: "It's just wax."
Spishak by Magic Jesus June 21, 2008
Swishank
Swishank by Mary Roach March 8, 2007
Utility beer
Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.
Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaning Lyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Utility beer by lakeshore February 1, 2022
Word of the Day on August 10, 2026
Oinking
Police activity, especially of the non-productive type i.e. The act of setting up and patrolling speed traps, harassing or arresting people based on appearance (racial profiling), breaking up parties, any sort of cannabis bust, etc.
"Did you see all the cops on highway 6? They are oinking hard!"
"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"
"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"
Oinking by DontDrinkSoda June 29, 2013
Word of the Day on August 9, 2026
Hopeslop
A video or picture depicting an unrealistic scenario that is often seen as hopeful but in reality, is unrealistic or otherwise rare in real life.
Hopeslop by rawmilkconsumer69 July 13, 2026
Word of the Day on August 8, 2026