Shitsturbate 

To masturbate oneself while taking a shit. Simultaneous masturbation and defecation. The ultimate dual release.

After years of marriage, Carl's wife finally figured out her husband takes an excessively long time in the bathroom because he loves to Shitsturbate.

Shitsturbate by Eaton Holgoode April 28, 2016

shiturbate 

The act of masturbating while taking a shit.

Thomas missed the meeting because he decided to shiturbate.

shiturbate by Fuzzy Buttons December 15, 2013

shisturbate

To masturbate while taking a massive shit.

Last night, I became aroused while taking a shit, but since I was so pressed for time, I decided to shisturbate.

shisturbate by THE SHLEEPER August 7, 2009

Shitturbate 

to masturbate while taking a poop.
Also used in the form shitturbating and shitturbated.

I can't believe you just walked in the bathroom and saw someone shitturbate at that party.

Shitturbate by Birdslur December 8, 2009

Shitterpated

Adjective; A confused, euphoric state of affection and/or infatuation for an individual to whom one would normally not be attracted, most often occurring in an inebriated state. It is a take on the word "twitterpated," a word for love-drunkenness popularized by an old Disney film.

Dude, what the hell was I thinking nailing that chick last night? She's not even remotely attractive!" "You were shitterpated, bro. It happens. Now get on Facebook and untag the photos, bro.

Shitterpated by BlackSuit91 November 25, 2010

shitsurbate 

To masturbate while shitting.

She wouldn't give me a blumpkin, so I had to shitsurbate.

shitsurbate by BadEar November 22, 2010

Shitsturbate 

The act of reaching your hand into your rectum and covering it with shit. Then using the shit covered hand to masturbate. The shit will act as a lubricant

Joe: I cummed to the roof whe I finally decided to Shitsturbate!

Paul: I told you!

Joe: Yeah, poop is good lube.

Shitsturbate by Topazoo November 29, 2009