Phantom Wank
Phantom Wank by Cleggfu September 15, 2013
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
phantom wank
The phantom jerk is performed when one is bored with casual conversation and wishes to cause a disturbance. Essentially, when the speaker enters an excessively boring stretch of context, the listener quickly makes a masturbating motion with one hand, never longer than one second in duration. Eye contact must be held, because the aim is to distract the speaker but appear to not have done anything. The follow-up must be perfect: remain emotionless, because otherwise the speaker will know what's up. They'll often ask what just happened, but the jerk-ee must deny all involvement.
Worker 1: Yeah, so at Tina's party last night, she got totally hammered, man. Afterwards we went to that new pub downtown, 'cause I heard they had some smashing sweet potato crisps, and-
Worker 2: *fapfapfap*
Worker 1: - some sort of new mixed dri.. What the fuck was that, mate?
Worker 2: What was what?
Worker 1: I could've sworn you just had a wank at me.
Worker 2: I haven't a clue what you're talking about. What're you implying? (Phantom wank successful.)
Worker 2: *fapfapfap*
Worker 1: - some sort of new mixed dri.. What the fuck was that, mate?
Worker 2: What was what?
Worker 1: I could've sworn you just had a wank at me.
Worker 2: I haven't a clue what you're talking about. What're you implying? (Phantom wank successful.)
phantom wank by Thatfuckinghorse January 31, 2008
Related Words
Phantom Wanker
A person who masturbates in the room as soon as his roommate leaves, leaving behind no evidence of his deed unless the unfortunate roommate returns too quickly.
Phantom Wanker by HankyPanky4255 November 1, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.