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The Calendar Option 

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.
Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame
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calentada 

A prison term that’s you’re going to get jumped by your raza for not following the rules
That’s fool is going to get a calentada if he keeps fucking up
calentada by Wickedspic December 9, 2018
Related Words

Clenching Chowder 

What happens after having unprotected anal intercourse with a man with a tiny penis. The ejaculate doesn't get past the Anus Hotel lobby (so to speak) and coagulates very close to the one and only exit; occasionally causing a bloated feeling or general lower GI discomfort.
After they found him half naked with his scout master in the closet, he ran to that restroom so fast you just knew he was clenching chowder.
Clenching Chowder by Finn Gerbang January 6, 2015

Buttock-clenching

1 Noun. The clenching of the Gluteus Maximus.
2 Adj. A word used to describe a tense, awkward or painful moment. This word was used by Bear Grylls whilst making a dangerous descent down a rock cliff in Man Vs Wild.

Buttock-clenching is a phrase used by British people.
1 Buttock-clenching helps strengthen the Gluteus Maximus.
2 That fall looked buttock-clenchingly painful.
Buttock-clenching by JMUK July 17, 2012

Butt Clencher 

A suspenseful situation, typically referring to a TV show, movie, or book.
The season finale of The Walking Dead was a major Butt Clencher!
Butt Clencher by madambluhhh April 13, 2015

Clenting 

Clenting is a term when a Youtuber is performing poorly (low views and low payment) in a month. The origin if the word Clenting is when user, FinalChidori57 whose real name is Clent began getting very poor views for almost a whole year consecutively and constantly receives low pays by his network. It became a humor within his posse, but later the term got across other groups within the gaming community of Youtube and it became a popular term used whenever a Youtube gets very poor views it's laughable. If a state of clenting, it's the lowest point you can be and you got to step up your Youtube game.

Note: This is a term used exclusively in the Gaming Community of Youtube, and those who are partnered under a Network. (TheGameStation, Machinima, TGN, Curse, Vultra etc.) Usually the term is not used within those that are not partnered as they don't monetize their views.
Jamal: Yo, I got 1M views for this month. I'm definitely caking with this new Naruto game.

Andre: Nah bro, I'm clenting this month. I only got 10k this month...it's not even funny. Gotta step up my game. Got some bills to pay.
Clenting by TGNYoutuber August 20, 2013

The Clench 

Jaw clenching caused as a side-effect of consuming LSD. Generally not dangerous. Treated by staying hydrated and exercising the mouth. Nothing to worry about as worrying can cause a bad trip.
Luke: You just gotta watch out for The Clench
A.J. (On LSD): The Clench? Wtf is that?
Luke: You don't know about The Clench man? That shit will lock your mouth shut!
The Clench by deadheadkid92 August 10, 2010