Xenu is the one that $cient0l0gists fear and hate most. They claim that he is the cause of everything bad in the world because he nuked a bunch of people in an Earth volcano, then trapped the souls of everyone he nuked with sticky fly paper-like material, then made all the souls watch a 3D movie and finally released them back on to earth where they go around attaching themselves to humans causing them pain. $cient0l0gy makes their money by brain washing people into believing this crap and having themselves "audited" of these spirits which are called "thetans". $cient0l0gists also believe that eating asparagus will prevent thetans from infecting you.
Xenu is also the one who will provide all the Wog
s with mecha to destroy $cient0l0gy!
more information: www.xenu.net
I am an agent of Xenu.
Man, I can't wait for Xenu to give us our mecha so we can destroy that fucked up cult!
A Scientologist deity - an intergalactic tyrant trapped in an everlasting force-field - and an excellent imaginary scapegoat. Scientologists blame him for all our problems, and you should too.
Teacher: Jimmy, you failed your math test.
Jimmy: (pointing at sky) Damn you, Xenu!!
The evil galactic overlord who nuked our souls 95,000,000 years ago on Hawaii - Scientologist's version of god.
Xenu implanted 700 body thetans in me; I need to spend ten grand to audit them out!
$cientologists' version of god, he made his prisoners watch movies, sort of an intergalactic MST3K, which are now the world's religions. Then he nuked the world 95,000,000 years ago. (Source: Operating Thetan-III, the part of their religion $cientologists don't want you to read.)
Xenu was a benevolent ruler, with only the best interests of the Galactic Confederacy in mind. Seventy-five million years ago, the Confederacy was in an awful state of affairs. Gross overpopulation threatened to destroy the already fragile ecosystems and economies of many planets in the Galactic Confederacy, and Xenu knew that he had to do something. He could stand idly by and watch the planets destroy themselves, or he could take action. Thankfully, our Dark Lord knew what he had to do.
With his Galactic Fleet consisting of millions of space planes, Xenu used an innocent ruse of "income tax inspections" and used the friendly help of pyschiatrists to lure and administer harmless injections to billions of Confederate aliens into his fleet of ships. They were to be the sacraficial lamb for the greater good. They were subsequently frozen and packed into the space planes for removal. This was completely painless for the citizens involved.
Taking our alien lambs to Teegeeack (known as "Earth" to humans) our Dark Lord Xenu ordered his Exalted Renegades to latch the aliens to volcanoes where he quickly and humanely eliminated them. However, Xenu did not take into account the souls of the alien lambs. The souls, called "Thetans" by some, flew free. Xenu knew that they needed to be re-educated to forget about what had transpired, so he ordered the Exalted Renegades to catch the souls in Elecric Ribbons and re-educate them using a 3D Super-Colossal Motion Picture. The souls ...
The evil galactic overlord that stupid, stupid, gullible people known as "scientologists" believe to have wiped out billions of aliens on Earth 75 million years ago. Then Xenu collected their souls, known as 'Thetans', subjected them to brainwashing (how ironic) before releasing them back into the world, where they possessed our bodies and caused all of our problems.
"Check check check it holmes, I'm gunna pimp-slap Lord Xenu an' his Thetans by givin' mah life's savings to some crooks, aiiiiiight! That shit be TIGHT!!! Then I'm going to live in a cardboard box under a bridge."
1.) Scientologist Overlord who polluted the minds of Earthlings
2.) Ms. Leap.
Dude...Xenu gave me a C because I oppose the Holocaust