Wankmallet Share definition Flag A person in possession of a large cakehole who insists on hammering on about mundane and uninteresting shite. Did ye hear that shite Tam wiz hittin oot wi? Naw I never listen tae a word that Wankmallet said. Wankmallet by Blakklore May 6, 2014 0 0 Get merch Get the Wankmallet mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch