Every year, thousands of chickens are mistreated, and forced to dress up in tuxedos. Why? Because people refuse to accept that penguins don't exist, and corporate America is taking advantage of this by creating funds to help protect penguins! How can we protect whats not real!? The media is only furthering this lie with movies like "Happy Feet". America's children are being tricked into thinking that penguins are real! The truth must be heard!

Sure, some of you may say "Hey penguins exist, I've seent them at the Zoo" WRONG!!! That was a chicken forced to dress in tuxedos. It is a common misconception for people to confuse penguins with chickens in tuxedos. Tuxedo chickens are being shipped to the Arctic every year to further this lie. And as my colleague Dr. Hu pointed out, in these frozen tundras the chickens freeze to death, and even worse the tuxedos that they are wearing are dry clean only, forcing the chickens to constantly buy new tuxedos.

Please, stop the ignorance! Expand the truth, tell your neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers the truth about penguins! Maybe someday the lie well be swept from this planet, and the poor tuxedo chickens can go back to their recently expanded cages (thanks to prop 2).

Many still argue that penguins do exist, so let me ask those "believers".
"How do you prove the existence of an airplane?"
You will undoubtedly answer "I have been within an airplane, therefore proving that they exist. How can one be present in something that does not exist."
I therefore respond "Have you ever been in a penguin?"

Dr.Long gave further evidence to their nonexistence by simply stating "Penguins are not in the Bible, therefore they do not exist".

Furthermore "Penguins" are not only chickens forced into tuxedos, but they are starved chickens, otherwise why would they be so slim?
Saying that penguins exist is like saying unicorns exist, they just don't.
by antipenguinconspiracy November 18, 2008
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When a woman gives a man a blowjob, and just before climax, she walks away. The man then follows her, waddling with his pants around his ankles, begging her to come back.
The bastard pissed me off, so I gave him a penguin.
by Jenny Bear December 09, 2004
An extremely cool bird that will kill all who do not absolutly love it and has the potential to invent space travel and wish to establish a colony on Pluto
"the penguins have launched several thousand AM-Bombs around the world after extracting their supporters. We're all fucking screwed."
by Dreian Yoshi October 25, 2004
1. A small, black and white, sexy aquatic flightless bird.

2. A rich guy who wears a tux everwhere..one whose ass must be kicked.

3. An idiotic character from the TV show Batman, who makes long ass schemes such as "i burn you slowly with a magnifying glass" to kill people instead of just shooting their ass. He has his very own asshat
1. That penguin was too busy being swarmed by women to talk to.

2. I kicked that penguins ass and stole his girlfriend.

3. Trever Clement is almost as gay as the Penguin.
by :D October 31, 2004
A penguin is one of the two magical creatures of Earth. They are extremely skilled at martial arts and are reliable agents of espionage. Penguins can traverse quickly through the water and are unaffected by sub-arctic temperatures. Penguins claim to be the original pioneers of space travel.
That penguin CAN fly!
by James Brooks June 21, 2005
IT'S FLUFFY BIRD NOT A FUCKING BLOW JOB. Sometimes it eats popcorn in the morning. And sometims it wears a WIMPLE ON ITS ICY HEAD.
The penguin ate the birdseed with popcorn.
by Sites May 09, 2005
A really cute waddling bird who lives in the icey south! He can't fly but swims and glides through ice really well! Penguins look as if they are wearing tuxedos and waddle!! they are so adorable!
Aww! The penguin just slid down the ice berg and hit the other penguin!
by Kelly November 05, 2004
1)The creature you can steal from Antartica without authorities noticing.
2)Mascot of Linus Torvalds
1) you stole my penguin!!!
2) w00t!!! look at that penguin go!
by n00b February 19, 2004

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