An Asian, high-waisted, tall
child with feminine hips that tries to keep burning the candle at both ends while listening to "What'
s New Pussycat" on repeat. His life was forever changed when he went, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh," and, "I'm sorry!" Overall, he is the tall, lanky Irishman that got pushed by a homeless,
gay, AIDS-full man, looks like his kindergarten portrait with baggy eyes and yellowed teeth, and gets confused with a
woman a shit ton.
John Mulaney: I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup - you see in movies - and I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like, "Something, something, police," and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, "FUCK
da police! FUCK
da police," and everyone else joined in: 100 drunk,
white children yelling, "Fuck '
da' police," with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren'
t afraid of it anymore. You know that, like "I served my nickel! You come and take me!" confidence, but white children.
