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Life Condom 

A metaphorical device, that protects one from life such as getting a girl pregnant, getting in an accident that leaves you disabled for the rest of your life. You wind up getting in debt so far up your ass you have to work till you die!
Tom recently dropped out of school. He said he would go back next semester, and thanks to his life condom, he actually returned to school and finished his degree.
Life Condom by Zac Kinder February 6, 2007
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Life Condom 

A manner of living in which your sole goal is to endure as long as possible.

Synonyms: "Those goddamn Orientals"
Life Condom by CHROME POLE October 12, 2019

life condiments

/līf ˈkändəm(ə)nts/

life con•di•ments

Definition: psychotropic drugs that are used sparingly
Friendly reminder that drugs don't have to be your whole life. They're best when you treat them as life condiments.