Horoscope 

Bullshit

Horoscope isn't real

Horoscope by Dat🅱️oi March 21, 2020

horoscope 

A bunch of hokey pokey witchcraft made up by hippies.

There goes Madison again, reading her stupid horoscope for the day.

horoscope by Bobby Freakin Hill April 23, 2017

Horrosh 

When something is so completely Horrible and Atrocious that you don't know what word to use first in response, and both words come out of your mouth at the same time because you're horrified by what you just heard/saw...that is Horrosh.

That new Kanye song is totes Horrosh.

Kanye and Kim are totes Horrosh.

Horrosh by LRose7 June 11, 2015

horoscope 

A load of horseshit.

My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face

horoscope by Falsifications August 20, 2016

horoscope 

A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.

What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."

horoscope by The Definitionizer December 9, 2006

Horoscope 

Telescope that can only see whores

"A horoscope, what's that a telescope that can only see your face..."

Horoscope by Avocado_ Alien July 16, 2018

hornosis 

A disease that causes the infected person to be extremely horny all the time. The person will hang out around Curves and masturbate in the alley, almost as if possessed. Most money is spent on trinkets, flowers, and drinks for strangers in an attempt to get the target back to their home to watch a movie. Constant bathroom breaks. Any attention is good attention, and despite the size of the pants, they always fit extremely tightly. Wet spots left behind in seats, and a complete rejection of standing sometimes. Panting, and a lack of standards are also commonplace. Also known by its street name Hornstrosity, which can also be used as a noun. Treated by Dibido, which actually increases the horny if taken with wine or snorted.

Poor Steve, ever since he came down with that hornosis all he has been doing is watching 80s exercise videos and hanging out at rest stops.

Man, I am going to ask Tanya out, rumor is she is a total Hornstrosity and i need to get after that before they put her on Dibido.

hornosis by Jack Lalane February 22, 2010