Top Definition
A vague and nonspecific prediction of the future.
What you might find in your horoscope:

"You are somewhat tall"

"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"

What you will not find in your horoscope:

"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."

"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
by The Definitionizer December 08, 2006

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Astrology for the poor or innumerate man—those who can't afford an astrologer to predict their future.
People who debunk the horoscope columns in newspapers are often the same folks who won't mind forking out hundreds of dollars to feng shui charlatans to predict an "auspicious date" for their wedding.
via giphy
by MathPlus October 12, 2016

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An astrological prediction of someone's future based on the position of the planets and the signs of zodiac at a particular time and place
Person #1: What's your zodiac sign?
Person #2: Aquarius.
Person #1: What's your horoscope for today?
Person #2: *checks horoscope* Uh- it says I'll "get even with a rival before things got worse".
by ValeriaAtWhitby May 15, 2006

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

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A load of horseshit.
My Facebook friends spam my news feed with horoscopes and I just want to punch them in the face
by Falsifications August 20, 2016

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Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

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A forecast of someone's future. Typically based on the month or year that they were born in.
This website is filled with tons of fucking advertisements that claim to give you a horoscope.
by Another jealous gay fag March 04, 2016

The Urban Dictionary Mug

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt