machines that are going to take over the world soon.
computers are getting better and dangerous
by dickhead1111 June 21, 2009
A machine consisting of a CPU, mainboard, hard drive, optical drives such as DVD and CD, sometimes floppy drive, monitor, video card, sound card, speakers, keyboard and mouse and lots of other shit.

At one time used for scientific research, they evolved into office machines for writing documents and organizing information. Computers are most often used for Internet access and to chat online with friends, and play games like Unreal Tournament, Grand Theft Auto, Doom, Quake, Descent and others.
My computer runs WinXP. It doesn't crash as much as it did with Win98.
by shadowhawk April 25, 2004
One who computes.
Bob: What is your occupation?

John: I'm a computer. I solve math problems.
by Punstar January 23, 2012
1. Porn machine.

2. Matchmaking device for pedophiles.
Computers: My Anti-Roofy.
by LilithXIII April 28, 2011
what you are on right now (unless, of course, you're on an iPhone/iPad)
Guy 1: i went on today because i felt like looking up random shit.

guy 2: what did you look up?

guy 1: computer.
by Chowderz March 05, 2011
A device that computes, especially a programmable electronic machine that performs high-speed mathematical or logical operations or that assembles, stores, correlates, or otherwise processes information.
a Computer, PC, Laptop, Notebook, PDA
by Ben9534 January 17, 2006
1. An electronic, metal box ruled by cruel, mighty deities who fuck themselves up with computer bugs to piss you off.

2. A good device to throw out the window when you're pissed off, usually at the computer itself.

3. A good device to upload to upload a virus onto to make yourself feel like a gangsta like in Office Space.

3. A device that can only be fixed by witchdoctors and magicians and Nick Burns The Computer Guy.
Damn this computer to hell; that's where the omnipotent asshole gods living inside of it belong.

Bob threw his computer out his window with an aggravated grunt and watched it fall on an innocent bystander's head.

Grendelina came to fix my computer the other day. The other bastards who tried to help were complete computer quacks.

Nick Burns told me, "MOVE" when I showed him what was wrong with my computer.
by PaperMachete October 25, 2005

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